The Anti-David E. Kelley
H: Some people want to see you born again on HBO. At least that way, we'd get the Ron nude scene everyone's been praying for.
JA: There's a lot of stuff on the web -- "more Ron, more Ron."
KB: No, that's "moron, moron."
JA: Hey, we can use that joke next year.
H: Do you still like doing TV? I mean, you've done these two shows that seem like labors of love, and then they got...well, I won't say "mistreated," except that I just did. But has all this put you off the genre?
JA: I'd be frustrated if I never got to make anything. If they keep letting me make some stuff, I don't care that much if the concept changes every other year. My goal has never been to do 100 episodes of anything. If it happens, it's a nice bonus. I would be more frustrated if I kept writing pilots and I could never get anyone to make them, and I was just sitting in my house with a big stack of scripts. As long as, at some point, we're shooting something, it's not really that frustrating. It's only frustrating enough to put me in the hospital with minor back surgery.
H: I understand. Are you ever tempted to just write complete crap and see if it gets made?
JA: Who says that I haven't? That's a subjective question. I did think about whether or not I could write a really, really hilarious show that only starred hot models. You know, write a show that's as funny as Seinfeld, but you really just got nineteen-year-old models.
H: HBO would love that. Or The Playboy Channel.
JA: That's my only real sellout idea.
H: So you'll be working on it in the next few weeks, then?
JM: We're going to start casting it.
H: And hold six-month-long auditions.
JM: [Imitating them] "Improv...what does that mean?"
LM: [Playing along] "Well, let's go to dinner and talk about that."
H: Were we the only ones that gave you a hard time about the Sandler episode?
JA: No, we didn't get any bad feedback, except for you.
H: Oh. Ha. Hmm.
JK: No, that's good. It makes us realize you're real. If you only liked us unconditionally, that would be strange.