The guys are distracted by Steven, who exits his room with Perry in tow, having done something quasi-illegal like burning each others' CDs, and glowing with the buzz typical of geeks who've just mildly bent their first rule, and aren't one bit sorry. Heath pleasantly invites them to play Truth or Dare. Perry isn't impressed. "You guys are looking to hook up some pigeons," he says. Ron and Steven crack up. "Why don't you just bet them to have sex with you, 'cause that's clever, too!" Perry continues. Wow. It's the weirdest thing. Perry's mouth moves, and his arms move, but the rest of him is eerily paralyzed. Shaggy and Heath want to smack him. Ron just chortles, because it's true, it's all true.
Out on the quad, Ron smiles, nods, laughs. Kelly smiles, shakes her head, laughs. We're treated to this pattern over and over, until something catches Kelly's eye, and she looks straight at the camera with a furrowed brow, trying to understand whatever it is she just spotted. Cut to Ron, who is in fact not talking to her, but standing near a fountain and gazing at her from afar, either imagining a conversation between them, or trying to look intriguing himself. If it's the latter, then he's forgotten to enlist a partner in crime. It wasn't a totally unexpected joke, but it was executed really well anyway. As soon as Ron notices he's been spotted, he jumps out of his skin and frantically looks around for a beard. He grabs a passing girl in a red sweater and pretends to be deep in conversation with her. She recoils and shoots him a pure "what the fuck?" glare before continuing on alone. It's here that I finally placed her -- she's played by Ali Rushfield, one of the writers, and I'm hoping the reason I recognized her is because I'm attentive, not because she shot me that same look at some point.
Later, Lizzie scurries up to Ron. I swear, she's patented a way to run on her toes that results in optimal chest bouncing. It looks like those things are on springs. Lizzie is giggling gleefully. "What, did you see a kitty, or find a sticker on the ground, or something?" Ron grumbles. Ha. Lizzie coos that the guys told her about his crush on Kelly and asked her to invite Kelly over -- and Kelly is into the idea. Ron is increasingly frightened. Lizzie announces that they'll be in the room at 8. Lord, that's early. Unless we were pre-partying, we never actually went anywhere until well after 10. Of course, if the pre-party was too effective, we never actually went anywhere, period. "So, I'm going to go that way," Lizzie chirps, leaving. God, what a beautifully nonspecific exit sentence. Ron mutters a few death threats, then makes a beeline for the dorm so that he can cave in and get ready for his date.