Steven runs into Lizzie in the laundry room and raves about Perry, his cool new girlfriend with the great movie collection and probing hands. Lizzie frowns. She then whines that she had wanted to wash the jeans she's wearing, so she smoothly slips them off and dumps them into the machine. Steven breaks out into a light sweat, catches himself staring, and tries to affix his gaze to the change machine. But even that backfires -- Underwear Lizzie jumps in front of him and helps him put the dollar in the slot. Wink, wink. It takes every ounce of Steven's restraint to keep from staring at or touching Underwear Lizzie's bum. It actually looks physically painful. He grabs his change and runs back to his machine, while Undie Lizzie pouts energetically. She tries once more to engage him by insisting that he can't put a red shirt in with his whites, and tussling with him over whether she should throw it in with her clothes. "I have to go," Steven chokes, sprinting out the door. As the door slams, Undie Lizzie stares glumly into her washing machine.
Ron stomps up to Heath and Shaggy, who are playing chess -- or rather, sitting with a chessboard between them. "I don't want your favors!" Ron shouts. Is he breaking up with them or something? Ron rants that the ladies will see right through the flimsy Truth or Dare scheme, but Shaggy and Heath excitedly point out that if they write a script, rehearse it, and try to make it seem spontaneous, the girls will totally buy into the Truth or Dare idea, at least until FOX cancels it or replaces it with That 'I Never' Show. Ron doesn't want to do it, but agrees because of Kelly. "I'm writing it," he insists. "You guys are both stupid idiots. Fools." Shaggy nods as though he totally agrees with that assessment. Oh, and Seth Rogen wrote this teleplay, so har-har.
Temperamentally, Ron bursts forth from his room with a copy of the script in his hand, and asks if they should rehearse. He stops short when he spies Perry contentedly chowing down on a sandwich. Apparently, Perry's participating in the evening's festivities, because he and Steven are so tight and it feels funny inside, yet so right. "Pretty clever how you're using this to get Kelly over," Perry praises. "Excellent choice. Nice fingers." Damn. Perry's weird. But I like him better this way than when he showed up in "So You Have A Boyfriend" and went all Kazaam The Rapping Genie on us. Ron grabs Steven, appalled that Perry's there infringing on their game; Steven argues that Perry's a crack-up and loads of fun and extremely flexible to boot. Ron's astounded that Perry has lines to learn, given that Ron wrote the script and doesn't remember including Steven's Funny Valentine in the plan. "Oh, um, I made some changes," Steven notes. "I think you'll find them hilarious." Ron is pissed, and pulls Steven aside for a private confab. "What we're doing is ridiculous to begin with," he seethes. "We don't need weird, creepy dudes in the mix." Steven sadly points out that he's scared, too, because he likes Lizzie so much and yet she rejected him, and now he's faced with the reality that she might be asked to strip or make out with someone else during this Truth or Dare marathon. Ron stares at the floor. "This could ruin our lives," he admits. "Yup," Steven nods, pained. But neither is so pained that the show won't go on, because hey, flesh still might be pressed.













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