Truth Or Dare

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Truth Or Dare

In the hallway, Heath laments that the girls are starting to see them as asexual beings, and suggests a rousing -- or arousing? -- game of Truth or Dare. That way, they dare each other to do things that make them look great, and the women swoon and feed them fruits and berries of the forest before sampling their buffet of bodily riches. "I'm talking copulation," he smarms. Shaggy stops dead and stares at Heath suspiciously. "You're going for Rachel!" he realizes, wounded. "I don't know," Heath shrugs innocently, though he realizes he's busted. It's kind of a dick move on his part, but I guess Heath just has so much love to give, he can't possibly control for whom his trouser radar tolls. Shaggy's eyes narrow, and he complains that it's not fair; he put in a lot of time with Rachel, and now Heath is going to swoop in "like some blond peacock." Seriously! Don't poach the booty, Heath. Although it's not like Rachel owes Shaggy anything, either. "I'm confused by these feelings, too, [Shaggy]," Heath says, the very picture of a sensitive, diapered Meg Ryan angel -- oh, wait, he's actually has been that picture once already. Defensively, Shaggy spits that Rachel likes him better, and Heath humors the idea condescendingly, but no one really believes it and it's really quite sad. Their conversation is interrupted by two guys leaving Rachel's room, as her giggly goodbyes waft down the hall. "Rachel's so sweet and funny," says the guy who plays Taint in "Hell Week." "Yeah, and she's got a huge rack," his blond friend says. "So huge," nods Taint, clearly a scholar of the jumbly sciences. Heath and Shaggy scowl at them. Blondie and Taint continue muttering that Rachel is so totally up for anything, and they squabble over who gets first dibs when they run that train. "Who the hell were they?" whispers Shaggy angrily. Heath shrugs. "You know what I think we should do," he notes with a sly grin.

This event, naturally, sways Shaggy to Heath's side, and together they unveil their plan to a dubious Ron. "It's ridiculous, Ron. We're like their sisters," Heath complains. "We're one step away from getting manicures with them." Aw. Pretty ladies, right here. Shaggy, like a total thirteen-year-old girl, insists Truth or Dare can make it all go away. It's the Calgon of party games. Ron crosses his arms, completely closed to the idea, especially when it's suggested that Lizzie could bring Kelly. "While I'm at it, why don't I take the dream image I have of Kelly, put it in the toilet, and poop all over it!" he rants. Shaggy begs for aid. Heath chips in that it'll benefit all of them. This triggers something in Ron. "You're going for Rachel, too!" he realizes, stunned that Shaggy is advocating the evil genius's evil plan for total Rachel domination. Shaggy bristles. "I'm gonna get her, man!" Shaggy insists, desperate but trying to appear confident. "That's what you don't get." Ron's all, "If by 'her' you mean 'nothing,' then sure."

The guys are distracted by Steven, who exits his room with Perry in tow, having done something quasi-illegal like burning each others' CDs, and glowing with the buzz typical of geeks who've just mildly bent their first rule, and aren't one bit sorry. Heath pleasantly invites them to play Truth or Dare. Perry isn't impressed. "You guys are looking to hook up some pigeons," he says. Ron and Steven crack up. "Why don't you just bet them to have sex with you, 'cause that's clever, too!" Perry continues. Wow. It's the weirdest thing. Perry's mouth moves, and his arms move, but the rest of him is eerily paralyzed. Shaggy and Heath want to smack him. Ron just chortles, because it's true, it's all true.

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