Truth Or Dare

Episode Report Card
Heathen: A | Grade It Now!
Truth Or Dare

Ron stomps up to Heath and Shaggy, who are playing chess -- or rather, sitting with a chessboard between them. "I don't want your favors!" Ron shouts. Is he breaking up with them or something? Ron rants that the ladies will see right through the flimsy Truth or Dare scheme, but Shaggy and Heath excitedly point out that if they write a script, rehearse it, and try to make it seem spontaneous, the girls will totally buy into the Truth or Dare idea, at least until FOX cancels it or replaces it with That 'I Never' Show. Ron doesn't want to do it, but agrees because of Kelly. "I'm writing it," he insists. "You guys are both stupid idiots. Fools." Shaggy nods as though he totally agrees with that assessment. Oh, and Seth Rogen wrote this teleplay, so har-har.

Temperamentally, Ron bursts forth from his room with a copy of the script in his hand, and asks if they should rehearse. He stops short when he spies Perry contentedly chowing down on a sandwich. Apparently, Perry's participating in the evening's festivities, because he and Steven are so tight and it feels funny inside, yet so right. "Pretty clever how you're using this to get Kelly over," Perry praises. "Excellent choice. Nice fingers." Damn. Perry's weird. But I like him better this way than when he showed up in "So You Have A Boyfriend" and went all Kazaam The Rapping Genie on us. Ron grabs Steven, appalled that Perry's there infringing on their game; Steven argues that Perry's a crack-up and loads of fun and extremely flexible to boot. Ron's astounded that Perry has lines to learn, given that Ron wrote the script and doesn't remember including Steven's Funny Valentine in the plan. "Oh, um, I made some changes," Steven notes. "I think you'll find them hilarious." Ron is pissed, and pulls Steven aside for a private confab. "What we're doing is ridiculous to begin with," he seethes. "We don't need weird, creepy dudes in the mix." Steven sadly points out that he's scared, too, because he likes Lizzie so much and yet she rejected him, and now he's faced with the reality that she might be asked to strip or make out with someone else during this Truth or Dare marathon. Ron stares at the floor. "This could ruin our lives," he admits. "Yup," Steven nods, pained. But neither is so pained that the show won't go on, because hey, flesh still might be pressed.

Perry helps himself to some punch, all smirk and smarm and irritating the crap out of Heath and Shaggy. "You're not to try any funny stuff with Rachel," warns Heath. "She's ours," Shaggy adds, with all the menace of a slice of bread. "Kinky," Perry derides them.

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