We join our heroes mid-morning-hump, and if that's not enough to get you ready for the next mission, running into Carlton Shaw in your kitchen after the deed certainly is. He breaks into the Blooms' house to prove the point that they're no longer a normal married couple and need to get their shit together security-wise before he hands them their next mission. And before I tell you what that mission is, be advised that the persistent married couple's quarrel for this episode is Steven's inability to distance himself from his precious gadgets and technology. So, it only makes sense this particular mission deals with recovering a device which is purported to break into the CIA's database of active field agents, thus exposing all their identities to the villains of the world. Laying it on a little thick, J.J., with this device thing. Laying it on thickly.
The mission takes The Undercovers to Berlin, where they meet a semi-reliable operative by the name of Hans Bauer with more info about the device's whereabouts. When Steven meets with him, Hans gets sniped by the syndicate he had infiltrated, which you have to imagine is par for the course for operatives anyway. The only lead the Blooms have to go on is surveillance footage Hoyt found of a black Mercedes speeding away from the scene with a distinct logo for a private nightclub on the body. This leads to a strip club where Steven meets up with Leo Nash and recognizes a guy who turns out to be Ernesto Santos, a negotiator for a Spanish terrorist group. Santos is sitting with a German man with silver hair who at the beginning of this episode went into a hospital late at night and murdered some staff so he could kidnap a young man. The Undercovers don't know this, however, but they figure Silver Hair Guy is buying the device from Ernesto, so they follow the men after they leave the club. They end up at an impenetrably secure 20-story building, where the only way in is to scale to the top. Sam and Steven do so while Leo takes down a guard and taps into the surveillance system so Hoyt can advise the infiltration. What's going on inside is the young man who was kidnapped from the hospital, Mathias, is being forced to try and crack some code on the device for the German men while they wait for Ernesto's associates to arrive to broker a deal. When the associates arrive, Mathias is escorted out of the room, giving the Blooms enough time to snag the device. But shit's not going to be that easy. Silver Hair Guy pulls his gun on Ernesto and his men when they ask Mathias to demonstrate that the code can be cracked, kills them all and escapes with Mathias before the Blooms can do anything.
All of this pisses off Carlton Shaw, because it turns out Silver Hair Guy is a renowned terrorist by the name of Carl Becker and the device the Blooms recovered was just a run-of-the-mill laptop. He kicks them off the case, but Steven can't leave well enough alone. He broods over the mission clues until his studying of surveillance video reveals that Mathias was wearing a hospital bracelet. Steven and Sam are able to run a background check on Mathias, which reveals he's a mathematical genius, meaning he is the device. Steven convinces Shaw to let them go back to Germany to complete the mission, so the whole crew heads to Dresden, where Becker is hanging in his stronghold, forcing Mathias to work on cracking the code for jellybeans, which really isn't so harsh at all when you think about it. Who wouldn't work for terrorists for jellybeans? ...I mean, I love America. Sam, Steven, Leo and Hoyt are able to get past security by posing as maintenance workers for the electric company after they blow the power grid. Sam gets inside the mansion, but shortly thereafter their cover is blown and she gets captured by Becker. Steven goes in after her and is able to take down Becker and rescue Mathias and Sam -- all probably before dinnertime.
What did The Undercovers learn this time? Their relationship and love is not a liability out in the field. Steven's instinct to protect his wife proved necessary for her rescue in this case, and Sam is at ease knowing her husband is by her side. These two need their own show about relationships. Maybe throw in some spying, too. That would be a hit!
In Lizzy's Unseen World of Picking Up the Catering Business Slack, she manages a funeral job for a cute guy she spies (relatively) when he's meeting with the Blooms to contract the job. We're also introduced to her main rival, Lance, the token gay chef who takes the exact same notice of the cute guy and claws at Lizzy for the rights to the job. The Blooms find out after their mission that Lizzy made out with Cute Guy and they were caught by his mother, who now refuses to pay for the catering job. That's cool, though, because Lizzy's going to sort it all out now that she's going to be seeing this guy regularly. Not to say I like the girl or anything, but anybody else think there's a much more trainwrecky and interesting show if we just follow Lizzy instead?
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Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. He co-hosts TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, The Cowboys Blog, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
It's nighttime and we can hear Brahms' "Hungarian Dance" over an establishing shot of a large building. We work our way into the building to find a young, attractive nurse wearing a classic white uniform, complete with the tri-corner hat watching Porky Pig cartoons in German at the help desk. Oh, God... this show got a hold of my fantasies! Two men in suits approach her desk, and it's fairly obvious she's the only person on duty. They ask in German to see a patient, and when the nurse begins asking questions, one of the two men who is sporting silver hair pulls up a silenced handgun and blasts her in the head. The two men walk off as we pedestal down to the small television set still playing Looney Tunes, but now splattered with the nurse's blood -- you know, just to remind us a cold-blooded murder has just happened.
As the two murderers make their way down a long hallway, a janitor appears, doing the standard, "You're not supposed to be here -- AGH!" as he's shot mid-sentence. The murderers enter a hospital room where there's a loud, jittery guy screaming about how he knew they would come for him, but they just pistol-whip him and head to the next bed where there's a young man staring wide-eyed into the foreground of the shot. A gloved hand reaches down into the frame and grabs the young man by the shoulder. "Mathias Faber, you're coming with me." As Mathias is dragged away, he grasps at a small package full of jellybeans on his nightstand and manages to grab it, spilling about half the pack. He's escorted out of the hospital by the two suits and stuffed into a car. Silver Hair Guy tells Mathias everything will be fine if he just does what they ask. Mathias asks when he can go home, and Silver Hair Guy shoves him back into his seat and shuts the car door. Not looking good, Mathias.
We cut to the outside of the Undercovers Home in the daytime. Inside, the Blooms are... oh God, they're doing the horizontal Monster Mash! This isn't "end-of-episode make out and turn out the lights" sex either. This is Steven on top of Sam, finishing up some full-on thrusting, causing the sudden urge to listen to some LL Cool J. And then the two roll off of each other and... they're perfectly unruffled and pristine. No bed hair (excluding Steven), no sweat and no ickyness whatsoever. They're their normal, unbelievably attractive selves wrapped in perfect white sheets. They bask in the wonderful way to start a morning until Steven reminds Sam they have a meeting in a couple hours. Sam knows they can't miss out on another catering job, but she wishes aloud that they could spend the day avoiding computers and gadgets, just as Steven grabs a remote and turns on their bedroom TV. "You have a problem," she says. "Let me guess: you think I'm addicted to technology," Steven feeds this episode's inane lover's quarrel. He's even holding his cell phone as he says it. They roll over together and Steven insists they can't miss their meeting. Time for breakfast.