Undercovers

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's nighttime and we can hear Brahms' "Hungarian Dance" over an establishing shot of a large building. We work our way into the building to find a young, attractive nurse wearing a classic white uniform, complete with the tri-corner hat watching Porky Pig cartoons in German at the help desk. Oh, God... this show got a hold of my fantasies! Two men in suits approach her desk, and it's fairly obvious she's the only person on duty. They ask in German to see a patient, and when the nurse begins asking questions, one of the two men who is sporting silver hair pulls up a silenced handgun and blasts her in the head. The two men walk off as we pedestal down to the small television set still playing Looney Tunes, but now splattered with the nurse's blood -- you know, just to remind us a cold-blooded murder has just happened.

As the two murderers make their way down a long hallway, a janitor appears, doing the standard, "You're not supposed to be here -- AGH!" as he's shot mid-sentence. The murderers enter a hospital room where there's a loud, jittery guy screaming about how he knew they would come for him, but they just pistol-whip him and head to the next bed where there's a young man staring wide-eyed into the foreground of the shot. A gloved hand reaches down into the frame and grabs the young man by the shoulder. "Mathias Faber, you're coming with me." As Mathias is dragged away, he grasps at a small package full of jellybeans on his nightstand and manages to grab it, spilling about half the pack. He's escorted out of the hospital by the two suits and stuffed into a car. Silver Hair Guy tells Mathias everything will be fine if he just does what they ask. Mathias asks when he can go home, and Silver Hair Guy shoves him back into his seat and shuts the car door. Not looking good, Mathias.

We cut to the outside of the Undercovers Home in the daytime. Inside, the Blooms are... oh God, they're doing the horizontal Monster Mash! This isn't "end-of-episode make out and turn out the lights" sex either. This is Steven on top of Sam, finishing up some full-on thrusting, causing the sudden urge to listen to some LL Cool J. And then the two roll off of each other and... they're perfectly unruffled and pristine. No bed hair (excluding Steven), no sweat and no ickyness whatsoever. They're their normal, unbelievably attractive selves wrapped in perfect white sheets. They bask in the wonderful way to start a morning until Steven reminds Sam they have a meeting in a couple hours. Sam knows they can't miss out on another catering job, but she wishes aloud that they could spend the day avoiding computers and gadgets, just as Steven grabs a remote and turns on their bedroom TV. "You have a problem," she says. "Let me guess: you think I'm addicted to technology," Steven feeds this episode's inane lover's quarrel. He's even holding his cell phone as he says it. They roll over together and Steven insists they can't miss their meeting. Time for breakfast.

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Undercovers

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