Undercovers

Episode Report Card
Pablo G: B- | 639 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Some Assembly Required

Abrupt cut to the hustle and bustle of the Blooms' Catering Kitchen. As can be expected at this point, the two are arguing. This time it's about something Steven didn't do. The rest of the kitchen crew wants to know what the fuss is about. Sam reveals that it's because Steven did not read the instructions before breaking their new coffee machine. This big, awesome, fat chef guy is like, "Oh, that's an expensive machine, Mr. B." Something tells me there's a more interesting show following that guy. Lizzy shows up and warns the couple that "the hotel guy is here" and he's right behind her. Like, right behind her, and as she says this, she turns around to find Carlton Shaw right behind her.

We're now in that perfectly secure room with the glass walls at the Catering Kitchen. Shaw has put Dr. Nasir's file in front of the Undercovers. He explains she has been kidnapped and that her specialty is developing miniaturized computer processors as well as miniaturized explosives. Oh, man... mini bombs. Do you have any idea what you could do with one of those? You could take out an entire Lego city. Shaw next presents the file on Grizzled Guy who is named John Seidel, along with his brother Bruce who was the Freaked Out Guy. They're part of a private military cell that was hired as security detail for the businessmen they offed. The man John Seidel trusted to secure the perimeter earlier was a man named Kruger who the CIA has tracked to the West Indies. Shaw admits it pains him in the groin to give this job to someone who can't even operate a coffee machine. Pain in the groin is never something you should take lightly, Shaw. Get that checked out immediately. It's entirely worth avoiding being called "1-Ball Shaw" the rest of your life. Mr. Shaw also reveals he can't stand the Blooms' simultaneous yammering. The two respond with a, "Sorry," simultaneously. Shaw, I think you might be me projected into this show. I feel your pain... except that whole groin thing.

Before the Undercovers can take off on this mission they need to tie up some loose ends. Sam tells Lizzy she'll need to take over a catering job for an engagement party because she and Steven are heading to San Francisco to work for Shaw. That's a solid story, but Lizzy is concerned and claims she knows what's going on with all this secret stuff with Shaw. Sam's eyes go wide, but it turns out Lizzy just thinks the Blooms are taking this job because the business isn't making any money and they might be shutting down. Lizzy has a moment of self-induced panic because she needs this job and doesn't want to go back to drinking again to pass the days. You know, at this point I think I'd already welcome such a train wreck on this show. Sam assures Lizzy everything is fine with the business. Back at home, Steven walks around shirtless while he and Sam pack up for their mission. I may not be gay, but I'm not stupid and/or dead. I'd pay this man top dollar to stand in my living room naked in a statuesque pose. I'd establish a no-touching rule and invite women over to see my Steven statue so they'd get riled up and have to resort to sleeping with me. I know we're only two episodes in, but it's ridiculous this hasn't already been an evil plot on this show. Samantha takes over packing for Steven because his method involves just cramming clothes into a bag without folding, so Steven decides he'll read the mission brief. Sam teases him for actually prepping for his missions, unlike how he tackled the coffee machine. Let it go, woman! The two end up in bed together, each with a mission dossier. They figure Dr. Nasir is in a tough position where she can' be blamed if she complies with a demand to build a bomb. Their only hope is to try to apprehend Kruger at his hotel in the West Indies.

Undercovers

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