Back in the underground room, the FBI agents have called for back up. The medical examiner thinks the dead guy has been dead for less than a day and was tortured before he was killed. I guess that would explain the whole tied-up-and-bloodied thing, thanks public employee! Naturally Agent Erica isn't surprised by this non-news and tells Wash that she has unearthed a stash of fake documents that the terrorist cell was making -- everything from passports to IDs. It's an FBI agent's dream bust, except that there was no one there to actually bust.
Up on the space ship, the two teenage boys are acting like teenage boys and guffawing and gawking at the hot Vs in their low-cut uniforms. While one V explains about gravity manipulation, a blond vixen comes to woo the boys into joining the Vs' cult, er...peace ambassador program. If they join they get a uniform! The boys jump to attention and take the pamphlets, only to sag in disappointment when they find out they need a parent's signature to join the fun. Man, those Vs sure are sticklers for annoying administrative details. They must have really done their research into humanity's love of arbitrary age cut offs. The blond sighs because she just got assigned to the New York chapter and they could have spent some quality time together. Tyler can NOT believe that he had to go to space to find a girl who liked him. High school is so cruel.
At church, Father Jack is avoiding proselytizing for intergalactic brotherly love and instead is preaching caution when it comes to the Vs. He recommends against riding on the "bandwagon of fun". He recommends letting the Vs earn their trust first. The older father scowls in the pews. When the sermon is over he finds Father Jack and skewers him for not following doctrine. They are under strict orders to preach acceptance of the Vs. And he, for one, thanks God everyday for the Vs (and for his unique ability to accessorize) because they are bringing people back to God. Has Jack seen the size of his congregation? Jack thinks people are scared and that is why they come to church. He thinks the Vs' timing is too perfect. They showed up right when the world needed them the most. Now people are relying on the Vs and that reliance can turn into ...wait for it...devotion. The longest four letter word in the language. He thinks the Vs are preying on peoples' needs and that can be dangerous. Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of one of their oldest parishioners, Wheelchair Guy. He wants to show them something. He stands up. The Vs healed him. He has no pain. He is cured. The priests are stunned. Strangely another giant Jesus doesn't crash to the ground right then. I guess the prop room ran out.
Tyler comes home and his mom waves him over to the computer. She has something super awesome to show him. It's a video of him tagging a giant V on someone's property. He is more shocked and hurt that she is in his account. Dude, your mom's FBI, she probably had you implanted with a tracking device at birth, so you really shouldn't be surprised if she hacks your fake Facebook account. Erica can't believe that he is so freaking stupid, not only for defacing public property and posting it to the internet, but also for falling so hard for the Vs. When chuckleheaded Tyler tries to explain that it was all his fattish friend's idea, Erica has NO CHOICE but to launch into the lame "would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?" speech, a question to which I am pretty sure most children would answer a resounding YES. Like, has no one been to middle school recently? Of course you would do it, if there were even a small chance that it would make you more popular or get beat up less often. I am also fairly certain modern kids are impervious to this line of questioning. That said, the speech is so tried and so clichéd that I am pretty sure most parents actually whip it out when standing in the face of incredibly annoying teenage behavior. Honestly, Erica offers up a pretty weak version of the speech, but that is probably fairly realistic, like she can't believe the words are actually coming out of her mouth. Tyler's defense is that tagging is not merely vandalism, because the Vs consider it spreading peace, love, and spray paint. Erica shakes her head in shame at the stupid kid she raised. She then asks him the next most logical question: Is he acting out because his dad left? Um...what? Tyler gawks at her. Is this the first time they have talked about mommy and daddy's divorce? I can't figure out if this is the clumsiest writing since the first season of Degrassi Junior High or if the writers are being really clever knowing that when parents are faced with smart-mouthed teenagers they will grasp at any pop psychological straw in the hope that they will make a breakthrough? So, Tyler, is this because mommy and daddy got divorced and daddy left? Is that why you are acting out? Tyler snarls at her that she is a bad mommy. He wins.
Chad walks into the television studio and is greeted by a party of anxious looking network execs and one V, Anna's executive assistant who kind of looks like Peter Gallagher, but isn't. The V announces that Chad has been selected. Anna wants to do an intimate interview from the ship to help calm the protests against them. She wants Chad to do it. He gets to be Katie Couric to her Sarah Palin -- what an honor! Elsewhere Ryan' phone rings again and he hangs up again, claiming it is nothing. His girlfriend points out not-at-all-suavely that he has been getting a lot of calls that are "nothing" lately. You can tell she has been working up to ask this question for quite a while and it is definitely a loaded question. He swears it really is nothing, but she won't accept that answer because they are honest and don't keep secrets. They have relationship transparency and these secret phone calls are like the black ops of their open relationship. He laughs, tells her she's pretty and changes the subject. Well played, Ryan, but I somehow think it's not over yet.
At the FBI office, Erica's partner...Hold on, Complaint Break: Names! What are these people's names?! Just tell us once! If you, the writers, are too lazy to tell me your own characters' names, you must realize that the viewers are not going to bother looking it up on IMDB. Anyway, Erica's partner who I will continue to call Wash until instructed otherwise, is trying to track one of the fake IDs. It is a creepy-looking guy (think Bob from Twin Peaks), but they have no federal registry of creeps. I for one would be thrilled for my tax dollars to be used on such a database. Erica has made progress on identifying the dead guy they found next to the C-4 stash. They have a warrant for his house, which is obviously a split-level ranch house, because it is New York City and those are so common here. The agents race up the lawn (also common in NYC) and break down the door. The house was tossed and is empty. Erica thinks they knew they were coming and that somebody tipped them off. She calls the dead guy's cell phone, finds it, and finds a cryptic text message. Fortunately Wash speaks fluent tween and translates the message. Seems there is a meeting tonight on the Brooklyn piers, everyone must have a password and all newbies must be prepared to pass "the test". So the dead guy was going to go to a meeting to discuss the sleeper cell. This confuses Erica -- if you have info you go to the police, not a meeting. Well, Erica, not if you are in Sleeper Cell Anonymous.
Ryan is leaving work when he is assaulted by the guy who dresses like the Unabomber. He wants to talk. Ryan is not interested and since he is about ten inches taller and has about 100 pounds on the guy, you would think he would listen. He doe