Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | Grade It Now!
Mommy Issues

Ryan has broken out of custody and tracked down his little baby girl, who wiggles her tail at her daddy. She bears a striking resemblance to the alien from Enemy Mine and does not at all look like Val. Anna finds him making googly eyes at the lil baby fish. She reminds him that she has done a lot for him, but he is unimpressed with the accommodations. He just wants to take his baby and go. Anna agrees that he can go, but insists that his daughter -- as the first human-alien hybrid -- has to stay. She kicks him off the ship, never to return. Ryan puts up a fight about leaving his daughter, but deep down he knows that he would be shunned by the mommies at the playground and no one would sit next to him at Music for Aardvarks. I mean, do they even make Bugaboo strollers that could fit a fish tank? It's better this way, Ryan.

Chad Decker is on the air reminding the population that it has been two months since Anna and the Visitors (also not a band) arrived on Earth. But instead of just singing his usual tune of praise and adoration for the Alien Queen, Chad reports that the ominous nature of Red Sky has turned the human population against the Visitors. People are looting and rioting, arming themselves, and filling the houses of worship seeking solace and answers. The Visitors' Visitor Center has been besieged by angry mobs and poor Lisa and Tyler haven't been able to text, IM, Facebook, or Skype, let alone have some alone time in days. To prove this point we see Lisa and her perfect posture staring bleakly out the window of the Mothership singing "Somewhere Out There" to Tyler, on the ground, staring skyward. Awwwwww.

Back at FBI HQ, Erica has realized that where diplomacy and governmental organizations have failed, she will succeed. She tells her boss that she is going to go home and catch some Zs, but by the way she purposefully strides out of the office arms akimbo, ready for action, you can tell she definitely has a bigger and better plan than napping. Besides, she totally slept in the office already.

No. 2 reports to Anna that Ryan Nichols has been returned to Earth. There is something in his puppy dog stare that makes her feel the need to explain her reasons for Ryan's release: They have his daughter, so whatever Ryan has planned they can turn him at any second. Speaking of Ryan, he comes traipsing into the Fab Four's HQ like it's no big thing. He explains that he was held prisoner for four days, Val is dead, they have his baby, and he's free to eat some Ben & Jerry's, jerk off, and watch the Knicks game. Lalalala. Naturally, Kyle is just a touch suspicious that Anna would just turn him loose, but Erica and Father Jack are not at all doubtful and give Ryan big old bear hugs. I mean, Kyle's just being paranoid, right? Anna wouldn't have put a tracker on Ryan, or turned him into a humanish bomb or anything, right? Nah. Erica's phone rings before anything can get too tense or anyone can ask any questions or furrow their brows. It's Tyler. He's at the Visitors' Visitor Center and there are riots. Agent Erica is already out the door.

Up on the ship, the captains have arrived for Anna's intervention. But since she's their Queen, they can't talk back about how her emotions make them feel. So they just stand at attention while she assures them that the early release of Red Sky was all part of her plan and was in no way shape or form related to her moon cycle or, worse, human feelings. Anna assures them that they have no cause for concern, she is all alien. She flails the skin off one of the captains to prove that she knows what she is underneath. Then she kills the guy to prove that she is still Queen B. No. 2 takes it all in from the sideline and as soon as Anna is done he takes that memo straight to HR, because he is not going to risk his job because Anna is losing her edge. Paper trails are universal.

Erica finds Tyler in the middle of the riot. Being a complete moron, Tyler didn't bother even trying to leave until his mommy got there. So people are rioting all around him and he's hugging a tree in the middle of the melee. His mom tells him she will get him out of there, but instead punches a guy in the face, leaving Tyler to get billy clubbed. Apparently a bleeding and bludgeoned Tyler is all part of Erica's scheme, though, as she grabs him and leads him to the closest Visitor on duty. She gives him her name and tells him that Anna will want to give Tyler immediate medical attention. The guy shrugs and gets approval to bring Tyler up to the Mothership. Just in time, too, because suddenly the skies open and Red Rain starts pouring down on everyone. Everyone is, like, super grossed out because it looks like that scene from Carrie with the pig's blood and then everyone starts smiling because they get "Red Rain" by Peter Gabriel stuck in their heads and that song is magic. Erica and Tyler get the approval to go to the Mothership and run through the rain for the shuttle.

Father Jack's church is crowded, because, you know, raining blood is some seriously biblical shit. What's next, cats and dogs living together? Father Jack is trying to calm the masses when Chad Decker comes inside begging for sanctuary. Father Jack rolls up his sleeves to kick his weasly traitor-to-the-human-race behind back out the door. But Father Jack realizes that chucking a reporter out into blood rain is going to seriously harsh the parishioners' mellow, so he allows Chad to beg for clemency. Chad wants forgiveness and a chance to fight for humanity. He saw things on the ship! Testing done on the humans living aboard the Mothership! There were needles! Father Jack pauses, then tells Chad to beg Jesus for forgiveness, not him. If he wants to work with Father Jack and make amends for encouraging people to join the Live Aboard Program he is going to have to earn his trust. Up on the Mothership, Lisa is anxious for word of Tyler's health and welfare. Erica assures her Tyler's fine. No one would notice brain damage on him anyway. She just used his head injury as an excuse to get on the ship and see Lisa and find out what the heck is going on. Lisa doesn't know anything about the Red Sky, but thinks Marcus might. She hacks into his computer system and finds out something involving some Colonel Sanders looking white dude. Elsewhere, Tyler's head is all patched up and Anna comes to check on her daughter's boo. Erica seizes the opportunity to holler at her: People are freaking the fuck out on earth and Anna is ignoring them. Anna glares at her and then goes to rectify the situation. RIGHT NOW. Erica pats herself on the back for a job well done. She knew a little mother-to-mother chat would straighten up this whole intergalactic mess.

Anna dials up AOL and starts her Face-cast, broadcasting her pretty visage from New York to Rome to Beijing and back again. She explains that she knows people are concerned, but this has all been a test, and there is nothing to be feared. Instead Red Sky and Red Rain will repair the earth and reverse global warming and give the ground a new beginning. All the people who just moments before were rioting and picketing down on earth now start cheering and high fiving each other because people are dumb and do not ever learn to be suspicious or doubt the words of a beautiful lady. That's why QVC manages to keep the lights on.

After her message to the stupid earthlings, Erica thanks Anna for rectifying the situation. Erica wants to head back to terra firma ASAP, but Tyler wants to stay and spend some alone time with his lady. Erica hugs him hard because of HER DREAM and Anna's promise to take good care of him. Erica then hugs Lisa who passes on the name of the Col. Sanders lookalike and the whereabouts of his secret recipe. Erica departs and Anna pulls Lisa aside to remind her that she has to perform ALL of her duties with Tyler, no matter how debasing, disgusting, or disease-y. It is her job. Lisa shudders at the thought, and also because: Ew, Tyler. Also because no one wants t

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP