Father Jack curses a lot for a priest. Meanwhile, Erica is frantically calling her son's friends, because Tyler has not been answering her calls and she knows he is up on that V ship and she wants him downstairs RIGHT NOW. She goes to stare at a picture of her and Tyler back when they liked each other and then in the reflection she sees the evil security guard from the warehouse coming at her with a...well, I have no idea what that thing is, but it looks sharp and ouchy and undoubtedly you don't want it swinging at you. Erica quickly taps into the Intersect and kung fus his pasty white ass with a cast iron skillet (they watch a lot of Merry Melody cartoons at Quantico) and a steak knife to the heart. But, oops! His reptilian anatomy means he's not dead yet. So she stakes him again with the picture frame he ruined and you know that shit was from Pottery Barn and was probably expensive, but Erica is willing to make sacrifices. Meanwhile, Rebel Ryan's fiancée Val is starving! She is eating for ten despite the fact that she is only six weeks pregnant. Ryan pats her on the shoulder encouragingly and reminds her that she has a heart condition and needs to take it easy with the omelets. He does not mention that she is carrying a baby who is half-human, half-crocodile and prime for a starring role in the next Wes Craven film remake. She takes a deep breath and a seat and hopes that the ob/gyn can explain it all. Ryan looks a little anxious about a human examining his lil tadpole, but any further thought is cut off when his phone rings. It's Erica calling to report that she has been attacked and that the Vs have her son. Ryan rushes to her house to examine the crime scene. The good news about the attack is that that they don't need to worry about anyone else coming after them. Ryan is sure that the security guard was trying to clean up his own mess before Anna found out about the fuck up. Everyone is so scared of Anna and her love of skinning, taxidermy, and Brazilian waxing, that they wouldn't want her to know about their errors. Erica spends about twenty minutes loading her weapon to show that she is just as scary as Anna, except, you know, blonde. Erica is going to go get her son, and no one is going to stop her. She tells Ryan to lose the body, because she is a busy working woman with no time to clean up her own mess. She is going to go get Tyler. Speaking of Tyler, he is in a holding tank on board the V ship. He seems to be watching a Pink Floyd laser light show and spinning in slow circles. Anna and her daughter Lisa are watching him. Maybe he's the Vs' version of a goldfish. Lisa shows Anna that Tyler's annoying mom keeps calling him over and over again. Anna shrugs, because Tyler can only have one family. I'm sorry, but are these people fighting over who gets TYLER? Do they not realize he is an extremely annoying teenager with very little to offer in the way of conversation or even chores? I mean I totally get that Erica doesn't want her son to become V food, but really a few hours away from him can't be all bad. Seriously, Erica: Draw yourself a bath, watch some back episodes of Lost, practice your acting, whatever! Take some you time. But, no. Erica has stormed the barricade of the Visitors' visitor center and demanded to see her son. She raises enough a stink that Anna's No. 2 comes down and takes her to Tyler. He explains that he is safe and sound and doesn't want to come down from the ship. Under the watchful eye of Anna and the other Vs, Erica knows better than to do anything but pretend to be a dutiful mother. She yells at Tyler for staying out all night and not calling. She's worried! He swears he is fine and will be home for dinner. Erica goes in for a hug, but IT'S A HOLOGRAM! No. 2 explains that Tyler didn't want to come down so they arranged for this little show. Erica is teary eyed in horror and perhaps frustration. I am pretty sure that even a mom who didn't know that the Vs were reptiles would be really REALLY unhappy about that little game, but Erica is pretty calm about it and doesn't scream, "DON'T EAT MY BABY!!!!" or anything, which under the circumstances is pretty impressive. But, she's an FBI agent, so why doesn't she report this to someone? I mean, Tyler's only 17, so he's still a minor. He can't just disappear onboard the V ship without parental permission. Erica could easily make this a BIG problem for the Visitors. But maybe she is too embarrassed about her crappy parenting skills and won't report it at all.
Episode Report CardLuluBates: A+ | 1448 USERS: B-
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