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Welcome to the War
e, being wily, knows he didn't blow up the warehouse and is pretty sure he didn't leave a fingerprint on the bomb-making materials. So Erica proves his guilt by calling up her boss and claiming she got a lead on Kyle's whereabouts in Alien Dale's files. She gives him the address and tells him she will meet him there. With the thumbscrews thusly applied, Kyle agrees to help them. But it will cost cash money or at least the names of the people who framed him. Ryan and Kyle make like a banana and split (I've been reading The Philosophy and Wit of Bugs Meany) and Erica pretends to arrive at the scene in time to meet her boss and the FBI SWAT team with a severe case of escaped mercenary blue balls. Erica pretends to be indignant that her brilliant tip was wasted. God, does she have to do EVERYTHING? Sheesh.

Meanwhile, Tyler is floating around in some sort of memory-filled hamster ball. Actually it kind of looks like he fell into the opening credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which normally would be an okay homage, except: No. Lisa and Anna watch the proceedings, but Lisa is unsure of what she is exactly looking for, which is fine, because NEITHER DO WE. Like, you better be about to eat his pituitary gland, because why else would you be fighting to hang out with that kid? Lisa doesn't get the whole trip down memory lane thing, so Anna explains that human memory is laden with emotions and not organized for efficiency. So Lisa and Anna stare at the poor woebegone human who has started whimpering at the images of mommy and daddy fighting and daddy leaving. He sniffles at all the sads that are happening to him now and Anna smiles because she is evil what with her smiling at the sads! She tells Lisa that they have what they need and Tyler will be free of his mommy and Lisa can fulfill her destiny. Is her destiny to be stuck with an annoying human hormonal teenager for all eternity? Because that is a pretty shite destiny. Tyler emerges from the machine and Anna tells him that she knows his mother loves him, but she has to let him go. He is becoming a man and his mother needs to recognize that he won't leave her, but he is growing up. Tyler scratches his head in confusion, because he thought he was at a Pink Floyd laser light show, not in a rapid psychotherapy hamster ball.

Kyle sits in the church as part of the welcome home party for Father Jack. Erica explains that he is a hired gun and known terrorist who she is blackmailing into helping their cause. Strangely Georgie and Jack aren't super keen at the addition of, well, let's just call him Erica's Yoko. Kyle knows that Erica has weakened her position by coming to him and now he wants some money or he walks. He is a gun FOR HIRE, in case you thought he did pro bono mercenary work. Obviously no one has any money, but Ryan has something better than money. He has TRUTH, which is going for close to $90 bucks on eBay so it's obviously a really good investment. He tells Kyle that he is a Visitor and that they are not what they seem. Then he does a nifty (read: gross) trick and shoves his fake human eye into the back of his head revealing the reptile underneath. As Ryan reaches for his eye, Kyle and I make the same cringey gross out face. Then Erica tells Kyle that the Vs were the ones to frame him. By then it is clear that Kyle is in. Pro Tip: A barfy, revolting show-and-tell makes a great team building exercise. Remember that for your next corporate retreat.

Later, Erica gets a message from Tyler. He is on his way home from the ship for dinner. Just for dinner? What is she, a restaurant? Man, Dr. Phil would have a lot of straight up WORDS for Miss Erica. Father Jack wanders in to see if she has come to Jesus yet, but she hasn't. She tells him that she violated the second commandment and iced the alien who stabbed him. He doesn't give her even one Hail Mary or Our Father to say, which seems unpriestly of him. Although, he doesn't thank her for killing the guy, either, so that's something. She asks how he is holding up and the camera gets really close up while he talks about how he feels something changing and growing inside him and he once snuck out of the seminary to see Alien and this is probably his punishment for that. Erica makes her trademark concerned eyes and then changes the subject to her numnuts kid up on the alien ship. She is very worried or at least pretending to be because that is what good mothers are supposed to do. I'm not really convinced that Erica is a good or concerned mom. I will admit that I do not have a teenage son and thus do not know what havoc they can wreak, but still, I firmly believe she could benefit from a Dr. Phil tongue lashing. She is worried that working with Kyle was a bad choice for her as an FBI agent, but Father Jack reminds her that she is really protecting her son and that trumps all. I guess Father Jack hasn't watched Torchwood: Children of Earth or Supernatural or even 24 or READ THE BIBLE to figure out that sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself or your son for the greater good. I mean, c'mon you would think the story of JESUS SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR MANKIND WOULD KIND OF STICK WITH THE PRIEST. Anyway.

Ryan checks in with his doctor friend. She reports that under human technology, the R6 is nothing more than a simple saline shot. However, under V tech (you know, plug that shit into a Leapfrog) the solution reveals itself to be a molecular compound that reacts with the human genome and starts transmitting a signal. Ryan interprets that as "tagging humans" and I will just believe him on that. The doctor recommends that he not tell anyone about her findings yet.

Chad Decker is reporting live from the Manhattan Visitors' Healing Center. He has decided it is in his...I mean, America's, best interest to go behind the scenes of the healing centers. As an added bonus, he is going to get all Katie-Couric-camera-up-the-pooper and let America watch the Vs cure his fatal brain aneurysm. For your viewing pleasure, America! Obviously Anna is pleased that Chad's journalistic ethics bent to her will. But there is no time to gloat, because there is an army to make. The Chief Medical Officer has lined up eight hunka hunka burning muscles into a neat two line formation and he is busily explaining to them that they have been chosen for a unique mission that could save the V race. Their queen comes traipsing through the man tunnel dressed like an understudy for Maggie the Cat from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She eyes the man candy and picks a particularly large specimen to do his reptilian duty. I think she sniffed him.

Down on earth, Erica is busily re-framing her happy memory picture and not at all cooking dinner for Tyler. He finally shows up and she awkwardly hugs him and asks if he is okay. He shrugs, and then she launches into a two-sentence lecture about what he put her through that day, but doesn't actually look particularly upset. Which would be natural if Tyler was your son. He apologizes for his actions and then feeds her the lines that Anna fed him. Namely, that she's not going to lose him, he's not his dad. But he has to be able to grow up into some half-formed beta version of a man. He also wants to be honest with her about his love of all things V. Erica really wants to tell him about the reptile underpinnings his V girlfriend is wearing, but before she can tell him, he pulls out his Junior Ambassador jacket with its built-in spy camera and Erica shuts up quick. She swears she is not scared of the Visitors, but is just scared of losing her son. On board, Lisa is watching the exchange and smiles knowing that mommy was right. Erica asks Tyler not to keep any more secrets about the Visitors, and chucklehead Ty smirks that the Vs don't have any secrets. Erica pats the side of his face, goes into her bedroom and tears up the Harvard application she had kept in her dresser since birth.

Ryan's pregnant girlfriend, Val, is eating everything in sight. And when she catches sight of a dead mouse, that starts looking mighty tempting too. Finally she catches herself licking her l

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