Outside, the couple is confronted by the Horseless Headman who say she has a message for Elena. "Stop looking. [...] She doesn't want to know you. She doesn't want to talk to you. You need to stop looking. Do you understand?" Elena tries to get more information, but Stefan recognizes that Horseless is under compulsion, so eventually, Elena just acknowledges the message. Horseless pronounces himself done, looks off to his right, steps backwards into the street, and is killed by a truck, approaching from the right. I laugh so hard I have to stop my TiVo. Once I'm calm, I start it up again, and watch as Elena and Stefan rush to the now dead Horseless's side. When Elena spies his cellphone in the street, she pockets it, without anyone noticing.
Back at the auction, Jenna wins Alaric, which yay for her, but that's a little pat, isn't it? And then -- Carol Lockwood wins Damon. Heh. She put in the fix!
We return to the blue, blue past, where Alaric has had it with Isobel's vampire obsession. He wants them to live a normal life, have kids, etc. Isobel: "Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I want...more." Ouch.
Donovan Domicile: Matt pours Kelly in the door and while at first she argues that she wasn't ready to leave, she quiets down quickly enough and says, "You're the best, Matty." I'm pretty sure Vicki has said the same thing. She apologizes for leaving him for so long and then confesses that the real reason she's home is that Pete (her boyfriend) left her, and it's all her fault, like it always is. I can't argue with her logic. She then lays the guilt on Matt -- but thick. Don't leave me. You're all I have. Blah blah blah Me-cakes. Poor Pudding Pop. He deserves so much better, but he loves his mother, even though he knows what she is. He reassures her, and she passes out, so he covers her up.
Mossy Manse: Damon is pouring himself a drink when Alaric enters, ready to stake him. Damon doesn't even have to turn around. "Are you really that stupid?" Alaric doesn't say yes, because it would be redundant. In between throwing Alaric across the room and back, and trying to get him to put down the stake, Damon cops to feeding on Isobel, but she came to him, and she begged to be turned, so that's what he did. "There was something about her -- something I liked -- something... special." Alaric can't believe his ears. "You turned her because you liked her?" Damon laughs. "No, I slept with her because I liked her. I turned her because she begged me to." Damon rubs it in about how Isobel must not have been happy with her life or her husband. Alaric can stand it no more. He throws himself at Damon, stake first, but Damon overcomes him, and turns the weapon on its wielder. As Alaric struggles and shakes, Damon pronounces them kindred spirits -- abandoned by the women they love. "Unrequited love sucks." He pulls out the stake and listens to the hissing noise. "Sounds like I got a lung, which means I get to sit here and watch you die." Excuse me, I have to go draft a Dear John letter to the show....