Bonnie's willing to be the prized tool in the chest again and idly wonders if Caroline will notice she's only blown up 89 red balloons, rather than 99. "99 Luftballons" is blaring in the background, to make the connection for those of you who weren't even born in the 1980s. How are you people even old enough to read, anyhow? Shh. Don't pester me with math or reason. Nena is playing. If it's some cover band, don't tell me. I'm happier this way. Anyhow, while cleaning up after Matt and Jeremy, Elena washes her hands in the sink, and the water burns her. When she tells Bonnie that there must be something in the water, we cut to the...

School hallway. Bonnie's still on the phone, but this time, she's taking Interim Dad to task for dumping vervain in the water supply. Oh Interim Dad, if I didn't hate you so much I could kiss you. You know, when Bonnie asks, "Where did you even get it?" had you answered, "The internet exists, honey," I'm pretty sure my hate-on for you would have disappeared. Instead you go with this cryptic, "I have my sources." Lame. Anyhow, Interim Dad has also reinstated curfew and has cancelled the dance. He says it's his job to protect the town. Bonnie disagrees and says it's her job and she's been doing fine. I'm laughing too hard to pay attention to the rest of the conversation, but it ends with Interim Dad ordering Bonnie home for family meeting and me wondering how rank the vampires are going to smell if they can't even shower.

As soon as Bonnie hangs up, Kol swoops in, throttles Bonnie to remind me this is still The Vampire Diaries, and says that no one will get to the cure if she's too dead to find it. When he vamps out and goes to bite Bonnie's neck, she Expresses herself so clearly that Kol drops to his knees in pain. Balloons start popping. Good thing Caroline isn't in this episode, because we must be down to 79 red balloons and we've lost a few silver mylar ones, too. Lockers fly open. Paper scatters everywhere. I'm all ready to make a crack about Bonnie turning into the Chintz Monster, until I realize that's from my other show. Darn it. Freaked out by her lack of control, Bonnie runs off while Kol is still suffering. We cut to the...