Elena Haters: So are we, but only because you're playing Elena, who should definitely die in a fire. No offense, Nina. We do like Katherine.

Recapper: Okay, people. This is a weecap. Deadline is the Saturday morning following the episode. It is Saturday morning, so I've got to cut this short.

Anyhow, Elijah confronts Elena. He knows she lied about her meeting with Esther, and he wants the truth. Elena, who has been drowning in guilt, spills to him. Elijah stomps his foot, not because he's a temperamental toddler, like Klaus, but rather -- to open up a hole in the ground. He wraps Elena in his arms. We covet Nina Dobrev's job. Elijah then swoops the two of them down to the caves/tunnels/whatever. Rebekah is there to keep an eye on Elena. The siblings plans to use her life as leverage, thereby forcing the rest of the Fellowship of the Falls to stop Esther.

The Salvatores don't know Elena has already confessed the plan to Elijah, so they try to figure out a way to keep her silent. Damon calls Alaric for some help. Alaric is at the Grill with Meredith and so does not want to play Damon's reindeer games. He does relish, however, telling Damon he knows he slept with Rebekah. Damon ribs Ric about being with the "sexy, psycho doctor." Alaric ends the call. It's then, that Damon notices Stefan never touched his glass of blood.

At the Grill, Meredith tells Alaric that his wounds were too far healed by the time she examined him. She can't tell him anything about who attacked him. He wonders why he can't remember. She says his head checked out fine and suggests compulsion. I suggest you slipped him some sort of amnesia agent, Mere, you psycho killer.

The Talking Heads: Qu'est-ce que c'est...

Esther meets with Bonnie and Abby outside the Which House-Witch House. She compliments Abby for stopping Mikael all those years ago, and Bonnie for battling Klaus. She then tells them about their ancestor, Anyana, whom she refers to as her mentor. She needs Abby and Bonnie to harness their bloodline's power, because as mother and daughter, they are Anyana's bloodline made manifest. She refers to them as her sisters, as she joins hands with them, and thanks them for helping her to bring peace to the spirits of Nature, whom they serve.

Audience: Wait. Anyana mentored Eloise Freaking Hawking? We've long suspected this Original Witch tag was b.s. and it is.