Recapper: *Swoon*

Back at Klaus Haus, Elijah talks to Rebekah. He's wallowing in self-loathing, even though that's totally Stefan's job, now. Elijah hates himself for tormenting an innocent. Rebekah, speaking for Elena Haters everywhere, says Elena is no innocent. Elijah says, "And I used your hatred of her to get what I wanted -- wielded you like I would a sword. My sister." Rebekah reminds him he was saving their lives. "We deserve to live. We're better than they are." Elijah says, "Are we? Mother made us vampires. She didn't make us monsters. We did that to ourselves." He walks out.

Rebekah finds Klaus burning up all his Caroline etchings. He says, "I thought you'd have gone, by now. Elijah's leaving. Kol has fled. Esther and Finn are gone, too."

Rebekah: I hated you when I learned you killed Mummy. Now I'm thinking you and I make a splendid team, since we're the only two left, and all.

Klaus: Gee, thanks.

Rebekah: Hey, you wanna to know a secret. While I was terrorizing Elena, I got a good gander at those cave paintings. Remember that White Oak tree?

Klaus: We don't need no water, let the Mother ______ burn! LOL.

Rebekah: Yeah, well we must have forgot about acorns, doofus.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Piglet likes to call them haycorns.

Recapper: Silly old bear, you so do not belong in this weecap. Run along now, before you get tainted.

Rebekah: Anyhow, Klaus, this is North America. It's loaded with oaks. Or, rather, I saw a cave painting that indicates the natives were still worshipping at the foot of another white oak, 300 years after we fled back to the Old World. That tree could kill us. It's not over, Nik.

Audience: Seriously?

Recapper: Yep.

Alaric is at Meredith's place, letting her care for him. He's got a bump on his noggin and probably a broken rib, so he crashes on her couch. When he wakes, he heads to her kitchen to find some aspirin. Wait. He's putting it his mouth? I thought you were supposed to put aspirin between your knees. Huh. Anyhow, Ric finds a file about him, and other files concerning people like dead Bill Forbes and dead Medical Examiner Brian. He also finds the knife that was used in the attacks, and he knows that knife! Suddenly, Meredith appears and says, "You weren't supposed to find that." Sheesh, Mere. Then stick in it a drawer or something. She ignores me, takes out a gun and shoots Alaric. I suppose I should have used an exclamation point there, but Alaric has died so many times, I'm numb to it. I'm just hoping that Mere is something supernatural, and couldn't parse the screwy ring mythology. Better still, maybe she hit Alaric in the liver. That sucker can take abuse.