Vampire Diaries
American Gothic

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A+ | 6 USERS: A
In Which Everyone's Pretty And Nothing Hurts

Anyhow, Stefan exposits that an offscreen Liz Forbes traced Damon's car to the place where Rebekah and Elena abandoned it. She's also traced the whereabouts of the car they stole when they were too lazy to fill Damon's car up with gas. They're in Willoughby, PA, which Stefan says is the Creamed Corn Capital of Pennsylvania. I already did the Smallville linky thing in the recaplet, so pardon my pixels. Anyhow, Damon hopes that Rebekah takes cure so they can kill her. Stefan encourages big brother to focus. Right now they just need to find Katherine. Or the girls. Or the cure. Or something. I think I blacked out. I do remember that when Damon says Elena sans humanity is a stone cold bitch, it's obvious he and Stefan are in total agreement.

Klaus Haus. Remember last week when Silas (as Shane) stuck the Perma Son of White Oak stake in Klaus's back, and broke off the tip? Yeah, that was awesome. Anyhow, Klaus is at home, trying to dig out the stake tip, but he can't reach it. This is a double dose of gore, because this is Season Gore, with a chaser of Klaus chewing the scenery beyond recognition. I will not reward such behavior with undue attention.

Caroline enters and asks what happened. Klaus tells her Silas stabbed him with the Perma Son of White Oak and some is still inside. He feels like he's dying. Get down on your knees and pray that's true, please? Caroline caresses his face and says, "As much as I would love to watch you die, you still haven't found me that cure." Klaus falls to the floor screaming, "SILAS!" Silas-As-Caroline says, "Last night I looked like Shane. Today I look like Caroline. Tomorrow? Who knows?" Well, you seem to be on an upward trajectory, so how about one of the Salvatores... or Elena. Okay, let me lay out my cards, Silas. Just don't look like my Matt, all right? Play by Buffyverse rules for the First Evil, Silas. You can appear as the dead or the undead but hands off the living. Klaus is more demanding than I. "Show me your real face." Silaline says, "Why would I do that when I can look like whomever I want you to see?" He closes in on Klaus. "Resist me all you want, Klaus, but until you bring me the cure, I will bring you nothing but misery." Oh honey, you've been doing that all season. We cut to...

Willoughby. Post Office. Rebekah and Elena stop a letter carrier, who asks Elena what she did to her hair, " the last two minutes." When Elena says, "I was here, two minutes ago," the letter carrier asks, "Are you feeling okay, Ms. Pierce?" Elena lies she's fine. Once the letter carrier walks off, Elena tells Rebekah if Katherine was just there a couple of minutes ago, she can't be too far. They split up to find Kiki. Instead, Kiki finds Elena, throttles her, and tells her she's chosen a beautiful place to die. Rebekah swoops in to the rescue and taunts Katherine with her own threat. "I couldn't agree more. You've chosen a beautiful place to die." Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries




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