Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
And They Called It Puppy Blood Love

Mossy Manse; Parlor: Damon is having another drink by the fire when Stefan returns, hand in hand with Elena. Elena goes upstairs, leaving the brothers to talk. Stefan thanks Damon, but Damon tries to turn it into a joke. "No, Stefan, thank you. You're back on Bambi blood, and I'm the big badass brother, again. All is right in the world." Stefan brings the conversation back to his original point. "Thank you for helping her take care of me." Damon wants none of this. "You brood too much, Stefan. Everything on this planet is not your fault. My actions -- what I do -- it's not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. You are not allowed to feel my guilt." Stefan asks if he does feel guilt. Damon says, "If I wanted to. It's there." And then, "Emily waited until after I turned to tell me she'd been successful in protecting Katherine with her spell. She didn't want me to know about the tomb. She thought it would impact my decision." And as we already know. Emily thought vampirism was a curse. Damon adds: "Witches. Judgy little things." Stefan asks Damon why he didn't tell him this, before. Damon says he didn't want him to know. "'Cause I hated you, and I still do." Stefan nods at this common knowledge. "I know."

Damon needs to make one thing clear to his brother. He doesn't hate Stefan for forcing him to turn. He hates Stefan because Katherine turned him, too. "It was just supposed to be me, Stefan. Just me." Oh Damon, you're so much more attractive when you're not whining about this broad -- who, by the way, is the one you ought to hate.

Pearl's Pad: Anna returns home to find both Pearl and Harper dead. She leans over her mother's corpse. "Mom? Mama! Please don't leave me again. No. Please wake up. You have to wake up." Poor baby.

Streets of Mystic Falls: After killing Pearl and Harper, Snark throws a stake gun in his car and then places a phone call. "Sheriff Forbes? John Gilbert. Sorry to call so late. I have an update about the vampires." When is Damon going to cut off his hand, rip off his ring, and kill him?

Grill: Alaric is drinking off the day's events when he hears, "Hello, Ric." It's the Irony Fairy, in the form of... ISOBEL. Alaric ought to swear off swearing off. Dun!

I've been waiting for the Salvatores' vampire origin story, but I don't feel like I learned anything that I hadn't already pieced together. Okay, Damon's reason's for hating Stefan have evolved, but it's hardly shocking that he was jealous that Katherine wanted to turn both of them. And it's been said here, there and everywhere, but Stefan's story was a little too close to Angel's for me. Wait, it's not that it was close to Angel's that made it fall flat. It's that I never felt, for a moment, like there was a chance Stefan would choose to die. He's one of the three leads on the show. In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Amends," in which Angel tries to off himself with sunlight after being haunted by visions of his evil past, he's saved not by a magical ring, but by magical Christmas snow. But there was every chance he could have died on Buffy. It's quite clear Stefan isn't going anywhere at this early date, not unless the creators have a self-destructive aversion to success, but the last time I checked, Rob Thomas wasn't showrunner. Oh yes I did. Similarly, there was no suspense to the flashbacks. So Stefan fed off his father. I'd already figured that much -- or at least figured that killing someone near and dear to him played into his decision to become a crittertarian. It wasn't surprising to see him and Damon turned into vampires, because they're already vampires. The A plot felt largely pointless to me.

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Vampire Diaries

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