Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
And They Called It Puppy Blood Love

As Damon unties the ropes binding her slender wrists, he promises Katherine that they're going get her out of there. When they hear the men and horses returning, they still don't whisk her away. Instead, Stefan says, "Damon hurry, hurry," as he too continues to dither with the ropes. Damon is then shot by an unseen Goon. Stefan rushes to his fallen brother's side and does absolutely nothing other than say, "No, no," and then "Damon," as his brother dies. As the Goons close in on him, his dead/dying brother, and their incapacitated lover -- does Stefan drag them to safety or take cover, himself? No, don't be sensible. He grabs a rifle, or shotgun, or musket -- some sort of shooty thing, and stands to his full height, so he too can be an easy target. And he is. BANG! Shot, Stefan falls to the ground. As he moans in agony, he looks over at Katherine, who moans back at him, and then to his dead brother Damon (whose right eye totally moves).

2010: Damon leans over a semi-conscious Stefan. "Stefan?

1864: Stefan stares at Katherine.

2010: Elena leans over a semi-conscious Stefan. "Stefan?" How do the writers come up with such sparkling dialogue? She then rubs his shoulder, and says, "I lo..

1864: Katherine, "...ve you, Stefan. The Vampire Diaries's sound guy gives us two voice layers, ensuring this is an extra-bitch to recap. What have I done to you, lately, Sound Guy? It's been months since I bitched about the fact that sometimes the background music overwhelms the dialogue. Petty grudges do not become you, they do, however, earn me my keep. Anyhow, the Goons rush the slain Salvatores and their paramour, and throw Katherine back in the paddy wagon.

2010: As Elena stares at Stefan, an out-of-focus arm wraps around her shoulder, and gently encourages her away. We fade back to...

1864: Stefan watches as Johnathan Gilbert shuts the paddy wagon door on Katherine.

2010: Damon, following Elena out of the cell, looks back as he shuts the detox dungeon door on Stefan. The last thing Stefan sees is Elena's face through the bars.

1864: The last thing Stefan sees is Katherine's face through the paddy wagon bars.

Present/Past/Present: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Katherine watches Stefan as she's driven away from him and to her alleged doom. A single perfect manly tear forms in the corner of Stefan's right eye, even though Dean Winchester will not be born for over a century.

Theme Song(s)!

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Vampire Diaries

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