Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
No Peace I Find

Falls Church Ruins Pit: Bonnie's still underground, freaking out. She keeps trying her cell phone but can't get a signal. Why is she not even trying to dig a toehold into the walls and climb herself out of there? This shit drives me crazy. Never fear though, Stefan Salvatore is here to save Bonnie and the day, after he scares the pants off her. He swoops her up and out -- into the forest, into the night. Bonnie mentions that she could hear the vamps her ancestor magically sealed beneath the tomb. "Are they in pain?" Stefan says, "In the beginning, yes. But not anymore. They've starved to the point of desiccation." Bonnie wants to know what happens if they get some blood. Stefan is too deep in denial to give a useful answer. "That's not gonna happen, Bonnie. Emily saw to that when she had you destroy the crystal. You're safe."

Bree's Bar: Elena is downing shots and getting loaded with the grown-ups and I don't want to encourage underage drinking, but she's kind of cute, here. She tells Damon he needs a bib. He tells her he can't unhinge his jaw like a snake (as she does). She orders another round from Zoe, despite the other patron who can't believe she's not on the floor by now. As Elena brags about her tolerance, a mysterious stranger (Lee; Brandon Quinn) catches Zoe's eye. She approaches him and nods in Damon and Elena's direction and we cut to...

The Mystic Grill: Jeremy and Anna are still going back and forth over actual monsters versus metaphor, but now they're doing it over a game of foosball. When Jeremy makes some horror movie references she doesn't catch (The Lost Boys and Near Dark) Anna proposes they have a "fright night" and O.D. on old horror movies. And then, we get our first inkling, since Jeremy's mind was wiped, that he still remembers being in love with Vicki. He tells Anna that he just got out of a relationship and he's not looking for anything. Anna over-compensates as she tells him she totally just meant that as a friendly invitation.

Bree's Bar: Elena's waving her hands in the air like she just don't care -- until her cell phone rings and she shows us she totally cares. And even though it's just Jenna, not Stefan, she takes the call outside, so as to escape the noise. It's then that mysterious stranger Lee strikes. Before Elena can do much more than confirm for Jenna that she's okay, she trips, which momentarily makes me hate this show, because Lee then grabs her and drags her off into the dark. Elena's cell phone falls to the ground. Pretty girls, please take back the night. Do it for Buffy, yeah?

Bree's Bar: Zoe asks Damon where his girl is. He looks around and realizes Elena is nowhere to be found. When he goes outside, he finds her up on some sort of structure. (Look, it's late; I'm tired; my office TV is awfully small). Elena warns him off. "It's a trap," but she's too late or Damon doesn't care. Lee appears and proceeds to beat the snot out of Damon. As you can imagine, it takes a while. As Damon grunts, "What the hell?" and Elena cries in terror, Lee vamps out and pours gasoline all over his little Evil Pixie Monster body. Damon asks, "Who are you?" Lee says it's perfect that he's so clueless. Elena doesn't understand. Finally, Lee explains, "My girlfriend went to visit Stefan and Damon killed her." Elena realizes that Lee's girlfriend is was Lexi. Elena says she knew Lexi and thought her lover was human. "Lexi turned you?" Lee lights a match, and then looks from Damon to Elena and says, "If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever." Elena, I believe you just got thwacked by the foreshadowing fairy. Anyhow, Elena tries her best to talk Lee down, reminding him that Lexi was good and loved him, and so he must be good and blah blah blah. Lee finally relents, shakes out the match and instead of lighting Damon up like the Fourth of July, he throws him across the alley and into a wall.

Second-Sight Shack: Stefan brings Bonnie home. After she and Stefan have a moment, she retires, leaving him alone with Grams. They remember one another. Grams' name is Sheila, and she and Stefan met at an anti-war protest in October 1969, when Grams was barely in her teens. "You took a big risk coming to see me earlier, letting me read you, realize who you were -- could have gone in a completely different way." Stefan nods. "Well, your family has a very long history of keeping my secret. I knew that I could trust you, if you believed that I was worthy of your trust." Sheila says "Bonnie knows, doesn't she?" When Stefan confirms that, she continues, "Well, please understand that our loyalty can only extend so far. This town won't be easy on any of us if they figure it out. And I'll protect my own before anyone else." Stefan's turned into a bobblehead. "I know that." Sheila shrugs. "As long as we're clear." The bid each other goodnight, and we cut to...

Bree's Bar: Zoe knocks back a shot...**SPOILER**...like there's no tomorrow -- because there isn't, for her. Oh, at first she tries to fake like she didn't set Lee on Damon's trail, but then she warns him that she's chock full of Vervain. Don't do that, Zoe. It only encourages Damon to improvise, but I'm jumping ahead. Damon puts her on the spot. "And you're telling me this, why?" She reminds him that Lexi was her friend. When Damon zooms up to her, Zoe tries to talk herself out of her now certain death and indicates there are other ways to open the Katherine-tomb. "Emily's grimoire -- her spell book. If you know how she closed the tomb, the reversal process will be in her book. You can open that tomb!" Damon moves in closer. "And where is this book? [...] You have no idea." Bree stammers, "No, I am telling you the truth." Damon tilts his head and caresses her hair and cheek. "And I believe you. My dear sweet Bree, that's why I'm sorry." Then the Evil Pixie-Monster reaches right in our Zoe Washburn's chest and rips out her heart. Literally. Zoe falls to the floor, but YOU CAN'T TAKE THE SKY FROM HER, DAMON!

On The Road Again; daylight: Damon and Elena head back home toward Virginia. Elena wants to know why Damon brought her along to Georgia. Damon tells her: "Well, you're not the worst company in the world, Elena. You should give yourself more credit. [...] I don't know. You were there in the road, all damsel-in-distress-like. And I knew it would piss off Stefan. And... you're not the worst company in the world, Elena." Elena shifts in her seat. "I used to be more fun." That's all right, Elena. Damon used to be witty. When Damon assures her she did okay, Elena reminds him that she saved his life. Oh, Elena. If only you knew what he just did to Zoe.

Mossy Manse: Elena marches into Stefan's bedroom, and after a loaded, "Hi," she chastises him, because he told her there would be no more lies. She can handle all his truths. "I can accept the fact that the world is a much more mysterious place than I thought possible, but this lie -- I cannot take." Stefan promises that she isn't like Katherine, but Elena demands to know when he figured that out. "Before I kissed you? Before you slept with me." Stefan says, "Before I met you. [...] The first day of school, when we met, it wasn't for the first time, Elena." Elena says, "Then when was it?" Stefan looks her straight in the eye. "May 23rd, 2009. [...] That was the day your parents' car went off the bridge. [...] Every couple of years I come back here to see Zach and see my home. And last spring, I was out in the woods by Old Wickory Bridge, and I heard the accident. All of it. I was fast getting there, but not fast enough. The car was already submerged. Your dad -- he was still conscious. I was able to get to him, but he wouldn't let me help him, until I helped you." Elena cries as she recounts that nobody in the hospital could figure out how she escaped the car. Stefan explains that he went back for her parents, but it was too late to save them. When he pull

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Vampire Diaries

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