Damon: I never got to meet Eloise. I was too busy sleeping with my step-sister, dying and ending up in Locke's freaky-ass dreams.

Elijah: Anyhow, mother wanted to end my feud with Klaus, so she "took" Katia.

Recapper: Is that a sex euphemism? I mean -- what does that mean -- she "took" her?

Elijah: Damned if I know. Later, we'd find it out it was Tatia's blood that mother mixed with wine, in the spell that turned us all into vampires. Tatia wouldn't choose between us.

Recapper: I can see that, but with your new haircut, E, I'm pretty sure I'd pick you.

Elijah: Thank you, darling. Anyhow, Nik and I grew estranged. We argued. We fought.

Klaus: Eventually though, we realized no lover is better than a brother.

Elijah: Amen.

Stefan: Don't even think about it, Damon.

Damon: The closest I want to get to your thing, is Elena's ladybits. Ya dig?

Recapper: Can I just say something? Someone ring up Bonnie, tell her about the Petrova blood used in the vampire creation spell, and then put the phone on speaker, because I think she needs to hear this, too.

Damon: Done.

Recapper: Do you not all see how important this is -- the doppelganger blood thing? Witches, vampires and the doppelganger are always tied to one another, no matter how hard they struggle against their bonds. The Original Petrova -- Tatia -- her blood played an important role in starting your whole race. No wonder you both were so drawn to Katherine then, and to Elena, now.

Damon: Yeah, but we loved Katherine when we were humans, too. And they loved Tatia before they were turned.

Recapper: Sure, but we all know what she looks like. How difficult is it for a young man to fall in love with a young woman who looks like that?

Stefan: Speaking from the experience of two go 'rounds -- not very.

Elijah: I see what you're saying, and to be honest, Niklaus and I both had things for Katerina, too.

Klaus: No, I just had a thing with Katerina. You had a thing for her, and I do believe you're rather taken with the young Miss Gilbert, as well. I mean, our guests arrive and practically the first words out of your mouth were, "Where's the lovely Elena?"