Elena: Please tell me you didn't text her naughty pictures. No. You know what? Don't answer that. Change of subject. The killer cannot be Meredith. I refuse to believe your luck with women is that tragic.
Recapper: Oh damn, it's totally Meredith.
Ghosts of Isobel and Jenna: Yeah it is.
Katherine: Yes. Right! And I helped! I mean, my doppelganger's prints are on the damned thing, and yet no one thinks of me. It's like I don't even matter anymore.
Recapper: Someone didn't read the recaplet. Coincidentally, that same someone isn't in this episode, never mind this scene. Hit the road, Kiki.
Ric: The point of this is to remind everyone that I have weapons everywhere. They're at Gilbert Gables, my loft, the school, Damon's car. Damon suggests Klaus could be the culprit.
Recapper: Some people in our forum wonder if you might be doing it, Ric?
Ric: I black out so often, I suppose it's possible.
Elena: Hey, think back to the night Brian was murdered. Stefan was cray-cray-crazy. It could be him. I hope it is, BECAUSE I HATE YOUR FRICKING GUTS, STEFAN. YOU THREW OUT MY PHONE!
Damon: Ah, makes me nostalgic for the time Stefan was a bunny-snacking pacifist.
Recapper: Great line, Damon.
Damon: I know. But I've got to hang up now. I've got a mandate.
Elijah: Well hello there, Blue Eyes. Thanks for the love letter.
Recapper: What's that?
Elijah: When he ever so kindly undaggered me, Damon left me a little note in my jacket pocket.
Damon: "Dear Elijah, let's get together and plot the destruction of your brother. XO XO.
Recapper: Ahaahahahahahahahaha. Hoohoohoo. Hee hee. Ahahahahahaha.
Damon: All right, I know I'm damned amusing, but that was overkill. Did Klaus break her, too?
Elijah: No, the writers did.
Damon: Oh, right. Them.
Recapper: I'm sorry for my outburst. It's just that after the previous episode, when Elijah revived so quickly, one of our members, KatTV, wondered if Damon tossed a couple of blood bags into your coffin to help him out. Another member, Goldmoon, responded with this...
Goldmoon's Post: "I am pretty sure that Damon put a sticky note on one of the blood bags that said, 'Love, Damon. X O X O X O.'"