Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
That's Not Heroic. It's Tragic.

Mossy Manse: Damon and Alaric debrief each other. No, not like that (sadly). They're talking about Elijah, his nice hair, Damon's pencil wound, and how Damon probably shouldn't kill Andi. Alaric confesses to feeling guilty about lying to Jenna all the time. Here's an idea, tell her the truth so she'll stop inviting Originals inside. When Alaric leaves, Damon remains in the parlor, at least until he hears a ruckus. Out in the hallway, he finds Alaric with a knife in his gut. Wolfgeek is to blame. He next jumps Damon and jabs his neck with a Vervain filled syringe. Jules and two other wolves (one of whom looks like Tyler, but isn't, because he's not wearing Ty's black leather jacket) show up. Wolfgeek tells the guys to grab Alaric because "he's dead." Thank you protecto-ring. This is the second time Alaric's died, but I just know you'll bring him back. ["Hey, I died twice..." -- Buffy.]

The Den of Digression: I'm still not clear on the protecto-ring's powers, because a knife in the gut does not seem like a supernatural death to me, even if a werewolf wields said knife. I mean heck, he was in human form. Since the ring canon is still a bit fuzzy, I'd like to learn that Snark stole Grayson's ring (the one Jeremy now wears). It would make family dynamics even uglier for Snark, if he had the ring that could have saved Elena's adopted dad's life, but I digress...

RV: Brady prepares to hunt down Elena at the lake house and makes a big point of asking Tyler if he's committed. Ty says he is, but again, YOU BIG DUMB JOCK, don't you think you should get some details? Sigh. Good thing you're so pretty and sympathetic, these days.

Gilbert Getaway: I got ahead of myself before, but somewhere in here, Stefan leaves Elena to investigate the contents of the secret room, while he goes out to get firewood. Dun dun dun.

Gilbert Gables: Uncle Snark Daddy John (sic) gives Jenna a ration of shit, and tries to establish new household rules, but Jenna calls his bluff and tells him that unless/until he files for custody, she's the boss. You go girl. Snark then sows the seeds of doubt in her mind -- about Alaric. He makes a point of asking if she knows if they ever found Isobel's body, and tells her to ask, "Ric." Show, what do I keep telling you about the Ric thing? Stop trying to make it happen.

Mossy Manse: Wolfgeek has hooked Damon up in some choke collar lined with wooden spikes. His neck is a blood mess. Literally. Wolfgeek says he got the idea from a torture porn, flick. Ew. Isn't it time to put this puppy to sleep? The Wolfgang wants the moonstone. Damon ain't talking, except to taunt them about how he ripped out Mason's heart. Oh, you impetuous Evil Pixie Monster. You just bought yourself some more pain.

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Vampire Diaries

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