Kate Linnea Welsh: The surprising part of that whole thing was that Damon knows what position Matt plays.

Recapper: Right? Anyhow. Stefan runs out, and to give him his due, he looks afraid for Damon's life as he asks him if he's crazy.

Damon: (eyes now dialed up to 33) Maybe a little. Far be it from me to cause a problem. My eyes spin up to 44, and I stagger off, smirking all the way.

Elena and the Originals (not a Motown Group, at least not yet) witness this exchange. We cut to commercial. When we return, we're at Caroline's house. She's leaving Tyler a voicemail which amounts to her saying she appreciates what he's doing, but she misses him and wishes he was back home. I bet she does, because Klaus is totally getting to her. Speaking of, there's another black, velvet jewelry case on her bed, wrapped again, in cream ribbon. When Caroline opens it, though, it does not contain the bracelet, but rather OMGPONIES! I mean. Um. It contains a sketch of Caroline, with a horse. On the bottom, where you might find an artist's signature, instead there is a note: "Thank you for your honesty. Klaus." Oh girl, you'd better run.

Back at Klaus Haus, Eloise Fricking Hawking vents to Elijah about Rebekah and Kol's behavior. Elijah promises it won't happen again and that he'll deal with them. Mama caresses his cheek. "Thank you, Elijah. I wish the others were more like you." Me too, Mama. Me, too. Elijah's face makes it obvious he's mulling this over, even as he leaves the room.

Finn passes Elijah in the doorway to their mother's parlor. Once Finn and Mama are alone, she assures him the sage still burns, so they can speak freely. Mama takes out a piece of parchment and writes her children's names in a Runic script. Finn can tell mother is a bit off kilter, and asks her if she's having second thoughts. Mama's eyes are bright. "Of course not. It's just Elijah. He's so moral." When Finn (who, according to interviews, is the same self-loathing type of vampire that his father was) tells his mother she's doing the right thing, Mama makes it clear that Finn is in on her plan. "You understand what this means, don't you? This spell I'm casting tonight, will bind you all together, as one." Finn says, "I understand. When it is time, I will be ready to die." Eloise Fricking Hawking then says they must complete the link. She rises, picks up a knife, draws it across Finn's palm, and spills his blood all over her parchment. As Mama chants in Latin, the blood spreads from name to name, as we cut to shots of each of the Original spawn. When it's done, it makes a bloody family tree. Eloise Fricking Hawking says, "The link is complete. You are one." The parchment bursts into flames, right atop that lovely table. I wait for Klaus to come in and scream about how he just finished RENOVATING, but he must be too busy drawing Caroline. And ponies.