Stefan: Elena stop. You think I want to be this person. I hurt you, Elena. I bit you. I hate myself for what I did to you.

Damon and Elena Shippers Whom I Respect too much to Refer to as Delena Shippers: PLUS YOU RIP PEOPLE APART AND PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER. AND YOU FORCE-FED HER YOUR BLOOD. AND YOU TERRORIZED HER ON THE BRIDGE WHERE HER PARENTS DIED!

Recapper: And?

Damon and Elena Shippers Whom I Respect too much to Refer to as Delena Shippers: RIGHT. AND YOU THREW OUT HER CELL PHONE, STEFAN!!!!!!!!!

Recapper: That's better.

Elena: I'm just going to grab Stefan's face. That doesn't count as feeling anything of Stefan's does it. Now Stefan, show that you hate what you did. Do something. Anything is better than trying to convince me that you don't care.

Stefan: I can't. If I let myself care, all I feel is pain. *walks away*

Elena watches him as he leaves, and while I don't think she looks like a spurned sweetie, or in anyway broken hearted, she does appear to be at a loss.

Meanwhile, at the Grill, Matt is swilling coffee. He rests his poor, broken right hand on the bar. Becky comes in all, "What's up?"

Matt: Let's see. I went to a dance and got my hand crushed, found out that I don't have health insurance, so I just need a minute to myself.

Rebekah: I thought maybe I'd buy you an apology drink.

Audience: How about paying his hospital bills, you twit.

Matt: No. Please, just go away.

Rebekah: Aw...

Matt: Seriously, you are fun, and pretty and OF THE DEVIL. GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!

Recapper: That's my boy. That's my good boy.

Damon walks up to Rebekah as Matt walks away. Being Damon, and being drunk, he taunts her about getting rejected by the captain of the football team, then pours them shots, as he welcomes her to adolescence.

Damon: I've had a really rough night. Can I speak my own lines here?

Recapper: Sure thing, Evil Pixie Monster.

Damon: Okay, Beckster says something about how she should have killed Matt, but her mother wouldn't let her. So I'm all: Never let people tell you what to do. Besides, you would have broken him in a second.

Rebekah: Are you suggesting I can't be gentle?

Damon: No, I'm just saying you should find someone a little more durable. That's all.

Rebekah: And who would that be?

Recapper: We cut to Mossy Manse, where Rebekah and Damon have a raunchy-for-network-TV sex scene. The first time I watched it, I was alone. The second time I watched it, I was with my daughter, who is too young to watch this stuff, even if there's no HBO-esque nudity, so I just poked fun at the expression on Rebekah's face, while my daughter wondered if it bothered Nina to see Ian film a scene like this with someone else. The third time I watched it, I was with my husband, who was all, "Our daughter watched this?" The fourth time I watched it -- is now. The scene's charms are now forever lost to me. The fast-motion that happens when vamps get it on, sort of takes me out of the moment. I'll let my friend, Elizabeth, have the final words on that little rendezvous.