Vampire Diaries
Dead Man On Campus

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 89 USERS: B
And The Black Guy Always Dies

Throughout the above narration, Katherine has been climbing to the top of the clock tower. Marty McFly is nowhere in sight though, so she's ready to heave her pretty self off. Katherine tries to step a foot off, but hesitates to continue her narration. "So call it pride or vanity, but after the life I've lead, I refuse to drift off into the sunset. Goodbye, Nadia." Narration concluded, Katherine turns her back to the street below and just falls.

Beneath her, it doesn't so much devour -- it catches. That is to say, Stefan catches Katherine and saves her from her doom. When he asks her what she's doing, Katherine hops out of his arms and to her feet, then answers, "I told you, you either face your problems, or you run. I chose option 3." Stefan wants to know what problem has Katherine Fricking Pierce jumping off a clock tower. Kiki says, "I'm dying, Stefan. I'm dying of old age." Join the club, Keeks. So is the newborn in the hospital bassinet. Katherine ignores me and continues: "I don't know. The cure did something to screw up the entire, mortifying process."

Stefan raises a hand to Katherine's cheek. "Hey, you're Katherine Pierce. Suck it up." Oh yeah he did. Booyah! He walks off, leaving Katherine to watch after him. Her confounded look turns to a grin. Commercial.

After the break, we open in Jeremy's room, which sadly contains neither Damon's tub nor Katherine's prying eyes. Bonnie's having a hard time lighting candles and admits to her still boyish boy-toy that she misses magic. Jeremy chuckles. "Step away from the candles."

Bonnie turns toward her boy and they kiss. He hikes her up onto him and she rids them of his unnecessary shirt. God bless McQueen's trainer, although I should note here (because I failed to do so earlier) that Ian Somerhalder was sporting QUITE the biceps in this episode. As Bonnie begins to divest herself of her bra, she looks over Jeremy's unnaturally broad shoulders, spots Jesse and says, "Oh my God, I think Jesse's dead." Again, Jeremy can't see the spirit.

Jesse says he isn't ready and doesn't want this, but then he immediately grabs Bonnie's arms, disappears, and leaves her doubled over and screaming in pain. Jeremy demands to know what's happening. Bonnie diverts her eyes. "I'm the anchor to the Other Side, Jer. Every supernatural being that dies has to pass through me." Jeremy asks how often that happens. When she doesn't answer, he asks why she didn't tell him. Bonnie says she's back. She's here. Touching him. "We knew there'd be consequences. Just kiss me. Kiss me." Once Jeremy acquiesces, Bonnie says, "You and me -- this, this is worth it. Any consequence is worth it." Bonnie lies down on the bed; Jeremy follows her lead. In shadow -- in silhouette, they kiss. They also manage to ignore my heckling about how if I'd just been doubled over in pain thanks to being the Other Side bridge, I might not be ready for sexy fun times. We cut to...

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Vampire Diaries




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