Well, it's FINALLY Founder's Day, so there's a parade, and Stefan picks that moment to enlighten Elena about her Uncle Daddy. The women of the Miss Mystic float dress in period costume, so Elena looks just like Volde-vamp. The Brothers Salvatore are more smitten than ever. After the parade, the festivities continue. While Uncle Snark Daddy updates Mayor Lockwood on his plan to use the Original Jonathan Gilbert's Gizmo to incapacitate the vampires, the tomb refugee vampires are plotting their revenge. They strike as the Founders Council sets off the Gizmo. It emits a high-pitched noise (outside of human hearing range) which disables any vamps within a 15 block radius. Once they're down, the town deputies inject them with Vervain and drag the disabled fang gang (including Anna) to the basement of Grayson Gilbert's office building. Uncle Snark Daddy brings Damon down there, himself. Because he collapses under the Gizmo's influence, Mayor Lockwood is taken away, too -- not because he's a vampire, but perhaps he's a supernatural something I've been hinting at all season. Stefan is saved only due to some quick thinking on Alaric's part. Bonnie relents on her Salvatore vengeance quest and for Elena's sake, she helps Stefan save Damon. It's too late for Anna, though.
Jeremy, who was with Anna when she was arrested, goes home to mope and think long and hard about the vial of her blood she left him. Damon visits to inform the Germ that Anna is dead, and to apologize for his part in Vicki's demise and Jeremy's mind-wipe. Jeremy asks about vampires' ability to shut out emotions. Damon, choking on the stuff, admits it's possible and says he "used to" do it. He leaves Germ to his thoughts and meets up with Elena, who's just arriving home. They have a heart to heart that ends with Damon kissing her on the cheek. But then... he moves in for more meaningful macking and she doesn't push him away. (!!!) They're interrupted by a judgmental Jenna, who tells Elena to come in the house. Once inside, Jenna asks what's going on, but Elena doesn't want to talk about it. She retreats to the kitchen to find Uncle Snark Daddy (who already knows she knows). He tries to explain himself and a bit more about Isobel. As Elena is putting away the dishes she thanks him and then CHOPS OFF HIS FINGERS, including the one on which he wears his magical ring. She then shoves him against the sink and knifes him in the gut. Uncle Snark Daddy's final words? "Katherine!"
Just then, the real Elena arrives at home. She doesn't know that upstairs her baby brother has decided to take the plunge to the dark side by drinking Anna's blood and downing her entire bottle of acetaminophen and oxycodone. She just hears the ruckus emanating from the kitchen. She goes to investigate and leaves us hanging for the entire summer. Arrrrgh!
Elsewhere, after Mayor Lockwood tells Ty to take his car and get Caroline and Matt home, Tyler, too, is affected by the Gilbert Gizmo. Unfortunately, he's driving at the time and crashes the car. When the EMTs arrive, Ty checks out fine, but Caroline collapses. At the hospital, she's rushed into surgery to repair some internal bleeding. Will she survive the summer? Will we?
There's so much more. I'll give you all the scary, sexy and heart-wrenchingly sad details in the full weecap, so check back soon. In the meantime, come on over to the forums, where we'd never abandon you for an entire summer.
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Look, no scene-by-scene account is going to do this episode justice, because these scenes must be seen. You've watched it. I've watched it. I'm still freaking out; so are you. We're freaking because when it premiered, we thought we were going to watch this show to point and mock, but ended up falling madly in love with it because it is awesomesauce. Now we're going to be in torturous withdrawal (like Stefan coming off human blood levels of badness) until September. Let's just admit it and get this show on the road.
It's FINALLY Founder's Day, so there's a parade. Mama Mulva is ordering everyone around, and Stefan's looking particularly dashing in his period duds, but the Evil Pixie Monster steals the show, once again. Damon, dressed all in black (modern street clothes), approaches Stefan. "Look at you, all retro." Stefan smirks and asks what he's doing there. Damon: "Bonnie deactivated the Gilbert invention; Isobel's gone; and it's Founder's Day." A beat. "I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl." Woooo! Chekhov's gun is cocked and cocky.
When Stefan tells Damon not to start with him, their conversation devolves into You started it/No, YOU started it nonsense. Oh you boys. Finally, Damon: "I get it. I get it. I'm the better, hotter, superior choice, and you're scared -- now that Katherine's out of the picture -- that I'm going to turn all my attention to Elena, but don't worry. Elena is not Katherine." Stefan is steely. "You're right. She's not." Oh my word, how did I not see the end coming when I watched this the first time? I must have been blinded by the pretty, as are our fair Brothers Salvatore -- when Elena shows up in all her hoop-skirted finery, looking just like Volde-vamp. She curtsies as her swains swoon (although clearly she looks far too much like Katherine for either of them).
Gilbert Gables: Anna shows up as Germ is dressing for the parade. They're a duo so darling, so dear, and so very, very doomed. Their talk turns to Uncle Snark killing Pearl. The Germ says he's not defending him, but he kind of is when he explains that Snark is just trying to protect the town from the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires. Like her mother before her, Anna doesn't want revenge; she just wants a life. She's going to leave town and invites Germ to go with her. She gives him a vial of her blood and tempts him to turn, explaining that as a vampire, he'll have the power to turn off his emotions. Germ wanted to, but now doesn't think he can. As he explains himself to Anna, she disappears.