Back at the parade, Stefan tells Elena Damon's theory that her Uncle Snark is actually her Uncle Daddy (Uncle Snark Daddy -- I can't decide). She's hoping against hope that he's not. "All my life, I never liked this man." She's more worried about the family members she actually wants in her life, like Germ -- who is never going to forgive her for Vicki's death and his mind-wipe. Stefan is a foine but useless font of advice on both fronts: give it time; you'll know what to do when; blah blee bloo.
Meanwhile, Matt and Tyler are still bitching at each other and Caroline's still trying to get them to kiss and make up. Be sure to cue the cameras when they do, girl.
Before the parade starts, Elena makes another go at patching things up with the Germ, but it's a no-go.
Show time! On the Battle of Willow Creek float, Tyler pretends to shoot the Germ in the gut. Germ's all ooh, you got me, but this is just a pretty distraction before the main event. And? Here it comes. The Miss Mystic Falls float rolls down the street. Bonnie watches from the sidelines, waving to her second-best friend, Caroline (with an oh-so-handsome Matt), and her best friend -- Elena (with Stefan, although Bonnie tries to ignore that), who she betrayed just last week. Caroline sweetie, I'm glad you won the Miss Mystic title, but in the Bonnie-friend sweeps, I think second-best is sufficient. Anyhow, Damon jumps in front of Bonnie and waves coyly to Elena and Stefan. Elena gives him an oh please eye roll, as Stefan tries to play it off like he doesn't care, but Damon knows he's getting to both of them. He does that thing with his eyes. You know the one (so do the butterflies in your tummy).
Bonnie fears no Evil Pixie Monster. She tells him to leave her alone, but he won't. He catches her off guard, though, when he eschews scenery chewing in order to thank her sincerely and maturely for deactivating the Gilbert Gizmo -- as it could have killed him. Bonnie makes it clear she did it for Elena. Damon knows that, but still, he owes her. As he walks off, Bonnie considers him, and perhaps CONSIDERS THE FACT THAT SHE ACTUALLY DID NOTHING FOR ELENA -- EXCEPT BETRAY HER TRUST.
Founders Hall: Uncle Snark Daddy shows the Mayor how the Gilbert Gizmo works. It emits a high-pitched noise (outside of human hearing range) which disables any vamps within a five-block radius. Once they're down, the town deputies will inject the fang gang with Vervain and drag 'em off. Snark tells the Mayor that his informant confirmed that the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires No-Star Revue is going down tonight. How dare they attack on Mystic Falls' high holy day? Is nothing sacred to these bloodsucking fiends? Nope -- on account of their being bloodsucking fiends. They want revenge for what the founding families did to them in 1864. The Mayor thinks Snark's plan is risky. Their families will be there. Snark says it's the only way to draw them out and kill them. "All of them." You'd better not hurt our pretty Brothers Salvatore, Snark Daddy, or a band of pitchfork-wielding fan girls will hunt you down, bite your finger right off, and shove your magic ring where the sun don't shine.