Caroline, taking the victim-of-the-week spot, wakes from her tryst with Damon. No, there aren't any parents on this show. Just go with it, okay? She feels her bloody neck and tries to tiptoe out of the room so as not to wake him, so he wakes and when she won't give in to him willingly, he attacks her again. Meanwhile, on the Mystic Falls High campus, Tyler is no longer content to be a dick to Jeremy, so he branches out in Stefan's direction and chucks a football at the back of Stefan's head, whose super-vamp hearing and reflexes allow him to turn and catch it and impress the Hell out of everyone, even a reluctant Matt. Stefan ends up going out for the football team, which is coached by Mr. Tanner. Apparently, this show is operating on a shoe-string budget and a don't-let-the-grown-ups-in philosophy, because so far, Mr. Tanner does everything at that damned school except for clerical work. Stefan makes the team, like you knew he would because you watched the previews last week, which featured him in uniform. Tyler takes this badly. Matt tries to take it like a man. And Elena? Well, she goes out for the cheerleading team, but a be-scarfed Caroline (who had been unreachable all day, which freaked Bonnie out) shows up for practice, undermines Elena's confidence and suggest she just "observe" for the day. This gives Damon a chance to probe Elena -- for insecurities, y'all – and then work them.
Elena decides against cheering this year. However, she wants to convert a now suspicious Bonnie to Team Stefan, so she invites them both to dinner. Bonnie is resistant to Stefan's brains, charm and manners, because of the psychic phenomenon she experienced when she touched his hand, last week. He finally wins her over when he shows earnest interest in her witchy heritage. Then Damon and a still be-scarfed Caroline show up. She knew about the dinner thanks to Bonnie and brought dessert. Stefan tries to prevent Elena from inviting them (Damon) in, but Elena's too polite and can't take a hint. Damon then does his level best to plant more doubts in her mind about Stefan and Katherine. And later, he makes certain to remind Stefan that he now has a standing invitation to Elena's home. Later still, Elena has a dream that starts out with her getting hot and heavy with Stefan, but when he morphs into Damon, she wakes with a scream. As she makes her way out of her room, we see the crow perched on her window sill.
Stefan tells his long-suffering diary that Damon retains some measure of humanity, and that he hopes he can protect Elena. Then he has a thought -- and pulls out a funky old box and looks at its contents, and later gives it to Elena. Inside is a magical amulet, laced with verbena or possibly vervain (same herb). They laugh at him joining the football team as she quits the cheerleading squad, but he pronounces them a work in progress. Who died and made them Wonderfalls? That night, at the pep rally, Jeremy, who had a shoulder bumping episode earlier on with Tyler, is drinking up a storm. The coach makes a big deal out of new player Stefan, which makes Tyler bitter, so he picks at fight with Jeremy. Stefan pulls Tyler off of a fallen Jeremy, which gives Jeremy the opportunity to grab his broken liquor bottle and slash at anything moving. Unfortunately, he slashes Stefan's hand while going for Tyler. Matt tackles Tyler and Elena steps in and tries to talk sense into her now bleeding brother. When she then goes to check Stefan's hand, he's no longer bleeding and his wound is completely healed. He tries to convince her that it wasn't his blood, but she's not buying. After he leaves to get ready for the game, Elena queries Bonnie about the bad mojo she got off Stefan. Bonnie reluctantly admits it was a feeling of -- death.
Damon then tries to get under Elena's skin again, but she and her new amulet resist him and his thrall with a good cracking slap. Meanwhile, Matt gives Stefan props for looking out for Jeremy and apologizes for being a dick in practice (even though Ty was the dick). When Matt leaves, Damon comes and taunts Stefan some more. When Stefan shares his theory that Damon still hangs onto some semblance of his humanity, Damon kills the mean teacher -- which, some students might argue, proves Stefan's point. And there's this whole thing where Bonnie had a premonition about numbers that ties into where Mr. Tanner's corpse is found, but I'll hit that in the full weecap. At any rate, Stefan mopes to his diary that he was wrong about Damon, who is a monster that must be stopped, but then Damon reveals his humanity to us, by watching over Elena as she sleeps, and gently stroking her cheek. Also, Matt tells Ty where to get off, and Vicki nurses to an injured Jeremy and tries to make amends. I'll catch you on the flip side with the full weecap. Until then, don't take your amulets off, and don't invite your boyfriend's brother into your house. That never ends well.
Discuss this episode in our VD forums, then see what vloggers Val and Beth think of ancient vampires dating teenagers in TV is the Answer!
We little fang hags have had some good news over the past week. The CW ordered the back nine scripts of Dawson's Teeth. Now, scripts so are not episodes, as any self-respecting Firefly fan will tell you, but unlike that great What-Could-Have-Been, this show is on the CW, rather than FOX, in its Friday Night Deathslot. Excuse me while I channel Bonnie, but I can see the CW's lawyers and Kevin Williamson's lawyers hammering out the details over (domestic) champagne and caviar as I type. We already knew The Vampire Diaries was the CW's best premiering drama, EVA, but its performance in those coveted demos that make the advertisers faces go all vein-y and turn their eyes red is quite strong for the little netlet that still might. So and without further ado, let's see what all the fuss is about.
Previously, on The Vampire Diaries: For over a century, Stefan Salvatore has hidden in the shadows, but now takes a flying leap off the roof of Mossy Manse and into sunshine of Elena Gilbert's love. Stefan and Elena meet. Elena and Damon meet. Damon and Stefan have already met, since they're brothers, so what's left for Damon, but to taunt Stefan about his desire to feel alive? Elena asks Stefan about his ex, Katherine, who -- unbeknownst to Elena -- was last alive around 1864 and is Elena's doppelganger. Bonnie, Elena's personal psychic friend network, touches Stefan's hand and gets a wiggins. Stefan asks Damon what he's up to, and Damon says the goofiest-ass thing anyone has ever said (even on the CW). "That's for me to know, and you to dot dot dot." No. Really. Caroline, who has a bit of a Marsha Marsha Marsha complex where Elena's popularity is concerned, meets up with Damon. They hit it off and hit the sheets. But once she arches her back and thrusts her bright pink bra north to give the camera a clear shot, Damon vamps out. Fangs bared, Damon lunges at her. Caroline's screams carry us into the black.
Now: Over pretty shots of the early morning sky, I wonder who's in the Victim of the Week slot. We close in on a bedroom. A young, female figure, dressed in a grey negligee with red piping, lies in repose. Oh, I figured we'd see Caroline, but who can forget the bright pink bra? We pan up over the VotW's savaged and bloodstained neck to her face. It is Caroline. Goodbye, Caroline. No, wait! She's alive or... something. She wakes with a start, sits up, and stares in the mirror as her hand goes to her neck. And I'm annoyed, because although I might see the fang marks in the shot (they'd be on our left, here -- because -- mirror) her hair is in the way, the shot isn't crystal clear and frankly -- something distracting is going on with her breasts. Do you see that? Now I'm not picking on Candice Accola. Believe me, I'd take trade my bod in for hers, any day. But someone on the set should have seen that and adjusted things, or put her back the pink bra. Even once the cameraman is done playing with mirrors, we still don't get an unambiguous look at her neck. Caroline examines her fingers, but we can't see if they've picked up blood from a wound. Oh, wait. I think I see the wound. Or it could be a shadow and hair. Or the wound. I need HD TV. Please send me all your money at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com.