Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Francis Fukuyama Predicts...

Stefan catches up with Elena and Bonnie (who could not be more cold to him). Bonnie scoots off mumbling about tracking down Caroline (who's not answering her phone). This doesn't escape Stefan's notice, because he's only a high school boy (okay, plus about 10 years) on the outside. Elena then invites Stefan to dinner that night at her house, at 8:00. It will give Bonnie a chance to get to know him.

Meanwhile, Tyler tries to get Matt cranked about Elena and her new beau. Matt's not a scary stalker, nor is he a creep, so he's trying to accept things as they are. That's okay, Ty's creepy enough for both of them, so he hurls the football at the back of Stefan's head. Thanks to his bat-hearing, Stefan turns around and makes a fabulous catch, then throws the ball back to Tyler with such force that catching it nearly knocks him down. Inside the school, Elena tries to get Stefan to go out for the football team and explains that she wasn't always "Gloomy Graveyard Girl." As the bell rings, she promises that he'll get to meet the old Elena soon.

History Class: Tanner asks the class when WWII ended (1945), but he might as well be calling Bueller. Unfortunately for Elena, she starts whispering to Stefan about football as Tanner asks the date of Pearl Harbor. He busts her, and when she doesn't know the answer to the question (really? Do kids not know the date that will live in infamy? I've got to drill that into my kids' heads as soon as they get home), Stefan steps up with the answer (December 7, 1941). Tanner calls Stefan "Miss Gilbert" when he snidely thanks him. The class titters. He then asks Stefan when the Berlin wall fell. (1989 -- my grandfather was in the hospital and we watched it on the news together, as he said, "I remember when that wall went up.") Stefan tries to brush his knowledge off to being good with dates. Tanner wants to make a fool of him, so they have a little oral quiz. Civil Rights Act? 1964. JFK's assassination? 1963. MLK's? 1968. Lincoln's? 1865 (Stefan refrains from saying he remembers when Abe walked into Ford's). Roe v. Wade? 1973. Brown vs. the Board of Education? 1954. The Battle of Gettysburg? 1863. The Korean Conflict? When Stefan gives the answer to that last one as "1950 to 1953," Tanner does an obnoxious, "Ha!" even though you think he would have learned his lesson after his comeuppance in the pilot. Tanner smarms that it ended in '52. A few students giggle, but I think more out of nervous relief that Tanner's on the new guy's back. When Stefan persists that the year was 1953, Tanner tells the class to look it up. The guy who answers tries to keep the extreme pleasure out of his voice when he realizes Stefan is right. Later, Stefan brushes off Elena's amazement at his head for historical facts by saying that, as a loner, he does a lot of crossword puzzles. Yeah, because everyone knows how often you enter numbers in crossword puzzles. What?

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Vampire Diaries

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