Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Francis Fukuyama Predicts...

Behind the Field House: Matt asks Stefan if he'll be able to play. When Stefan says he's fine, Matt gives him props for sticking up for Germ. Stefan says, "He's a messed-up kid. Somebody's got to look out for him." Matt -- his face as open as the day is long -- nods. "I know." He then adds, "This week at practice, I was a dick." No you weren't sweetie. 'Roid Rage was a dick. You were just a little... prickly. If 'Roid Rage hadn't pushed you, you never would have acted up. Stefan smiles and says, "You had your reasons." Matt says, "That's no excuse." I try to bundle him up in a blanket and take him home -- just to feed him chocolate pudding, I assure you -- but then cops show up and say something about how he's not my property and he's got a job to do, and even though the actor is years past legal, the character isn't, so I slink away to the shadows, ashamed, alone, and feeling sorry for myself until I remember, "More chocolate pudding for me!" The boys shake hands and Matt wishes Stefan good luck in the game, and says, "We're lucky to have you."

Stefan watches Matt leave until he is interrupted by Damon doing a BSG-quality slow-clap. "Isn't that nice? Stefan joins the team -- makes a friend. It's all so, 'Rah rah go team'." Stefan tells him he's done with him and turns to walk away, only to be on the receiving end of a Stealth Salvatore. How do you like, huh? Huh? Damon continues baiting him by congratulating him on the neat necklace trick. He guesses there's Vervain inside. Stefan keeps walking, so Damon reckons aloud that he could just seduce Elena without the vampyric compulsion. "Or, I could just eat her." This stops Stefan in his tracks. He tells Damon that he knows he won't hurt Elena, because he retains some semblance of human feeling and he feels for Elena. "You're still haunting me after 145 years. Katherine is dead." Damon's gaze turns to steel, but Stefan continues, "And you hate me because you loved her, and you torture me, because you still do. And that, my brother? That is your humanity." Just then, All-Trades Tanner rounds the field house and calls out to Stefan. "What the hell? We've got a game to play." Damon smirks at his brother. "If that's my humanity, then what's this?" He rushes All-Trades Tanner and drains the blood clean out of him. Impotent, Stefan can only look on and cry, "No." When All-Trades' lifeless body slumps to the ground, Damon turns around, and with a blood covering his teeth and dripping down his face he tells his brother, "Anyone. Anytime. Any place." Stefan's eyes grow wide in horror and...COMMERCIAL!

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Vampire Diaries

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