Previously on The Vampire Diaries, during Season 4 while drowning in gore, we raced for the cure (which is a bit of a bore).
Presently on The Recapper Diaries, I feel like maybe Strega should be writing this recap, but I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's see what our little Fellowship of the Falls is up to.
Currently on The Vampire Diaries, we open in the daytime, on the Mystic Falls High School football field. There's a stage and chairs set up for graduation, but apart from that and decorations, the field and bleachers appear otherwise empty. The camera pans from the seats, to the diplomas, to the podium. After some feedback, someone taps the mic. It's Kol, who says, "Welcome back." A passel of corporeal dead supernaturals takes the field. Kol continues: "It was our deaths that allowed this day to come to pass." Buffy eyes widen in horror. "He's gonna do the entire speech!" Willow adds, "Man, just ascend already." I fear my
dead no longer onscreen supernatural friends are right. Kol has been handed the Exposition Fairy's wand and is bound and determined to get everyone up to speed on Silas and the massacres. Since I doubt anyone reading this recap needs or wants a rehash of Season 4's spaghetti mythology, I'll spare us all. While we're still on Kol's face, Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name" starts up. Shot through the heart... Fade to black. And you're to blame. Title card fades in. Darlin', you give love a bad name. We cut to...
Mossy Manse. In front of the fireplace, Lexi shakes her ass like she's on the hood of Whitesnake's car, but Bon Jovi continues serenading us. Stefan is sitting on the couch with his back to her, which is a pity because even if they're just friends, Lexi is looking foine. I'm pleased to know that her supernatural purgatory on the Other Side didn't keep her getting hair extensions. Stefan drinks, chair dances and pumps his fist. [It seemed festive. --Giles]