Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 108 USERS: B-
You Give Love A Bad Name

Sidebar. Look, if you don't want the Whedonverse references, please direct your complaints to Alloy Entertainment. They totally baited me.

Damon enters and the music stops. The "Stelena" 'shippers say that's always the case, and that frequently, his presence also extinguishes the sun. (I don't want to hear it from you "Delena" 'shippers: the word of the week is grace, m'kay.) Stefan invites big brother to help him celebrate his 17th high school graduation, and reintroduces him to Lexi, who immediately Stealth Salvatores up to Damon, throttles him and says, "What's up, buzzkill?"

Okay wait, I know Damon killed Lexi and all, and while solid arguments can be made to support the claim that Stefan is the "better" brother, Damon is not the buzzkill of Mossy Manse. The trio engages in some bastard child of bicker and banter, which includes Damon reminding Stefan that there's an undead apocalypso going on right now, so perhaps it's not the best time to party. Stefan morphs into the Sarcasm Monster and wonders if he shouldn't be upstairs grooming his "hero hair." Oh, I'd forgotten how much I love Bitter Stefan. Damon takes a swig of the booze and asks Lexi and Stefan if they'd care to help him figure out why Bonnie failed to raise the veil. We cut to...

The Hellmouth. On the phone, Bonnie tells Caroline she hit a "snag." Caroline is at school handing out caps and gowns. Bonnie explains that she might have to wait until tonight's full moon to put the veil back up. Damon you for making me end that sentence in a preposition, Bonnie. I swear I typed "Damn you," not "Damon you," back there, but since I'm pretty sure being Damoned is Bonnie's idea of eternal damnation, stet, editorial. Stet. [Note: I'll allow it. -- Rachel.]

Caroline isn't thrilled with the idea of graduating in the middle of a ghost-filled Expression triangle. Along with Grams, Bonnie looks down at her own dead body. Awkward. I know I'd be fixing Dead-Me's hair, but I'll save the rest of this commentary for a sidebar because right now, Bonnie is taking her dead life into her hands, by suggesting to Miss Caroline "School Spirit" Forbes that they cancel graduation.

Caroline reacts more calmly than I'd expect. "No, we are not going to cancel. Graduation is the most important event of our lives. The last ceremony of our youth. It is our rite of freaking passage. Hell will freeze over before I let anyone cancel graduation." Bonnie suggests it's not the best time for "Hell freezing over" cracks. Caroline non sequiturs: "Just promise me today is a friend day." What? Like Bonnie is the one who gets a boyfriend and forgets her girls? I think not. Bonnie promises and says, "I love you." Caroline loves her back and hangs up. My daughter and I laugh at the idea that Bonnie thinks Caroline -- a student -- could cancel graduation, but then we think about it. There are like two adults left living in Mystic Falls. Caroline probably is running the whole school, and arguably, she's better suited for it than either her mom or Bonnie's Interim Dad.

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Vampire Diaries




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