Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 108 USERS: B-
You Give Love A Bad Name

Everyone looks so beautifully alive and happy to be together that I just want to bask. Jeremy tells Ric, "She just got her humanity back. Let her live a little," and then reaches for the bottle. Now it's Elena's turn to come over all protective. Are you kidding me, Elena? He's dead. He's an undead, dead, mystical vampire hunter. I don't want to see teenagers drinking. I don't want to promote it to my own children, but Jeremy is fricking dead. What's he going to do -- scar his liver? Jeremy agrees with me. "I'm dead. What are they going to do -- throw me in juvie?" Alaric: "Well, then at least you'd have a place to live." At that, Elena throws fries at her former guardian, and then at little brother, too. "You. Both. Suck."

It's laughter and impossibly white teeth all around. When Elena smiles, Ric says he wasn't sure he'd ever see it again. Here come the waterworks. Sheesh, Ric. Elena nods and fights back the tears. "I did some pretty terrible things." Jeremy is worried about me, so he tells her, "Hey, no. No tears. If Caroline was right, we only have until tonight. We need a No-Crying rule." Elena is glad she's finally feeling something. Taking both men's hands, she says right now, she feels happy. She interrupted by a phone call which she assumes is from Matt, but it's Connor, calling from the Grill. We cut to...

Some Parking Lot. I guess it's the MFHS Parking Lot, but I just realized I spent 2,000 words on six minutes of show, so no more thinking, darn it. Alexander has Rebekah and Matt. No, it makes no sense that Alexander captured them, since Rebekah is immortal and Xander doesn't have a White Oak stake or a Son of White Oak stake, and certainly not the Perma Son of White Oak Stake. Just go with it. Mama needs the summer off. Xander has Matt perched on some explosive trigger. If our favorite Pudding Pop steps off the trigger, the entire world (or at least Matt and some cars) will explode. When Xander takes the Exposition Fairy's wand and starts expositing about Connor's stash of werewolf venom, Rebekah takes one for us and asks what he wants. Xander's needs are simple: he wants to fulfill his destiny. "The brotherhood of the Hunters was created for one reason, and one reason alone..." We cut to...

Mossy Manse. Damon opens the door to find Vaughn, who promptly shoots him with a wooden bullet and says he has a message for our Evil Pixie Monster. "...Straight from the mouth of the witch, Qetsiyah." We cut to...

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Vampire Diaries




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