Vampire Diaries
Heart of Darkness

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 32 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
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Stefan doesn't directly answer Ric's question. Instead he says that Elena needs to go on this trip with Damon. "No matter what I go through to get her back -- fighting my bloodlust, trying to get in control of my life again? None of that matters if she has feelings for somebody else." Um, on behalf of all the humans you've ripped apart and pieced back together, Stef, I'd like to think that you're basing your recovery on something a little more solid than the affections and attractions of an 18-year-old girl, no matter how nice she is. And no, I don't want to hear that I should be calling Elena a woman, when I talk to you Stef, because you're nearly 3/4ths of the way to your bicentennial. She's still in high school. I have a son who's only two years younger. He's a boy. Elena's a girl. I am old. You, handsome, are ancient. The end.

Denver. Elena and Damon find Jeremy at the batting cages. They must have installed some GPS app on his phone. Jeremy swings and misses. Damon: "Next time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball." Elena calls to Jeremy. He's happy to see his sister for a second, 'til he takes note of her traveling companion. "What's wrong?" Heh. There's a quick cut and Jeremy's now outside the cages. Damon says, "Katherine sired us. Rose sired Katherine. All we need to do is find out who sired Rose." And? Time for another sidebar.

Siring Sidebar: Okay, all fricking season long, the show has used their own stupid, bad, dumb meaning of sired to describe the magical loyalty Tyler and other hybrids feel toward Klaus. I've mostly referred to that as the "sire bond" and sometimes the show has too, but at first it was all, "He's sired to Klaus, blah blee bloo." So I wouldn't further confuse things, when talking about a vampire turning a human victim into a vampire, I've stuck to using turn and turning, even though this isn't my first vampire show, and sire and siring come much more naturally. Now that the show is back to the genre's typical, sensible use of sire, I'm almost more annoyed than when it made up its stupid meaning of sire. There. I feel better now.

Jeremy doesn't think he can contact Rose. He's never even met her. There's no connection between them. Damon's all, "What good is you dying and coming back to life if you can't talk to a ghost when I need you to?" Charmer. Elena explains that Damon and Rose were close, so perhaps they can use him as a connection. Jeremy agrees, but asks if they can do it later, because his friend has just arrived. "And yes, Damon, I actually have some. I'll call you when I'm done." Poor Germ doesn't actually have this friend, because this friend is none other than Original stalker, Kol. Elena spots him first and warns Jeremy and Damon, but before our Evil Pixie Monster can react, Kol takes a baseball bat to him -- so hard that he breaks the bat. Jeremy yells, "What the hell are you doing?" Kol drops the broken bat near where Damon lies, and then turns to the Germ. "No hard feelings, mate, but we're not buds." He takes an aluminum bat out of a stand and notes he'll never get used to this newfangled kind, but at least it won't break. Damon, still trying to get off the ground, grabs the broken bat and stakes Kol in the chest. Jeremy: "Did you kill him?" Damon: "No, but at least it will give us a head start." Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries

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