Vampire Diaries
I Know What You Did Last Summer

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 163 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Back To School
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously, on The Vampire Diaries, Elena and Stefan fell in love, then Elena and Damon fell in love. A resurrecting Silas killed Jeremy. Bonnie harnessed some bad juju to bring him back, then she died, but since Jeremy sees dead people, he can still talk to her. Elena shoved the cure down Katherine's slender throat. Silas revealed his true face and we learned that Stefan is Silas's shadow self -- his doppelgänger. Silas stuffed Stefan in a safe and tossed said safe in the quarry.

Now, on The Vampire Diaries, Bonnie is still misleading her friends about her death. They think she's on an extended vacation with her mother. If either Elena or Caroline stopped to think about anything other than themselves for two seconds they'd realize Bonnie's not just lying, she's lying carelessly. Since when has Abby wanted to do anything with Bonnie that didn't involve either controlling or abandoning her? Fortunately, Elena is too busy having sex with Damon to notice. I don't have to recap the whole Elena voice-over thing, do I? Great. Thanks.

Caroline is channeling all her control freakiness into preparing herself and Elena for college and bullying an absent Tyler into attending with them. Matt and Rebekah have been sending postcards (I miss postcards, I saved a couple of ancient ones my Nana sent me from Canada when I was little) from their European travels, that is, when they're not too busy having threeways with the nubile Nadia (Olga Fonda, no relation to The Fonda family) -- which hey, it's hard to type while I'm clutching my pearls, but this show is on at 8 PM on the East Coast, which means it is on at 7 PM in the midwest. That scene is inappropriate to the time slot. It disappoints me when TVD goes there. This is a show for teenagers -- a show which, when it is firing on all cylinders -- is exciting enough that there's no need for mindless titillation. You don't even need to go there, TVD. When you're trying, you've already got the goods that keep people turning in. Still, it is nice to see Matty flash a carefree grin. Anyhow, Bonnie dictates texts and email to Jeremy, so that he can send them to Elena and continue the fake out. No, it makes no sense that Bonnie has continued the charade that she's living this long. OMG, I just lost track because there was a SPIDER crawling down my arm. Thank goodness I have long sleeves on. Let's move on to a new, spider-free paragraph.

The voice-over correspondence between Elena and Bonnie continues over scenes of Jeremy entering Mossy Manse and finding -- much to his disgust -- that Elena and Damon are making out on the couch. Look kid, I can understand you not wanting to see it, but since your unstable sister burnt your house down, you pretty much have no place else to go, so please remember beggars can't be choosers.

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Vampire Diaries

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