So, where was I? Yes, the voice-overs end with Bonnie asking Elena if she's heard from Stefan. By then, Elena is taking a bath in Damon's enviable tub. She's not unaffected by the question, but when Damon asks her if she's okay she deflects (probably not with a lie, because in all likelihood, she is correct) by saying she feels like something wicked this way comes. Damon agrees: Elena will soon be leaving for college. He'd rather she stay home, champagned up, and in his bed. Let's give him some points for honesty, because this is nearly the last moment of the hour in which he exhibits any. Elena chides Damon for not being a "normal boyfriend" who supports his girl's attempt at a normal college experience. Honey, when you date a vampire (and turn into one yourself) you have to give up the normalcy quest. I'd ask why you're even going to college, but I'm still marveling at the fact that any of you graduated high school. Elena's sick of listening to me, so she lets herself slide completely under water, which morphs into a shot of an unconscious Stefan, still trapped in the safe. As he comes to, we cut the to the title card.
Since Jeremy died last season and his corpse burnt up in the flames of the covet-worthy Gilbert Gables, he has to practice a cover story about how he's alive and back at school. "There were issues at home. Ever since I lost my parents, my aunt, I've been acting out. Drugs. Drinking. I was looking for attention so I lit my house on fire and faked my own death." Elena tells him to stress the drug issues and imply the fire was an accident, "...because there's crazy, and then there's…well, me." Word.
Jeremy floats the idea of not returning to school, but his suggestion falls on deaf ears, because Caroline has just driven up and is waiting outside to whisk Elena away to Whitmore College, which she notes is only a few hours away. When Bonnie, Elena and Damon first visited Whitmore last season it felt like it was a few hours away, but then Bonnie and Shane did so many back-and-forths that it felt much closer. I don't know why I care, but I wish it was closer because certainly, at some point in the season, there are going to be too many convenient trips between Whitmore and Mystic Falls. Even Jeremy knows this is true, because he says he'll see Elena on laundry day. I'm sorry, but if the college is a few hours away, given the price of gas, it would be cheaper to stay on campus and use the coin-op machines. Now, I went to school about a half hour away, and back then gas prices were closer to a buck a gallon, so if my roomie and I had a lot of laundry, it made more sense to spend a fin on gas, go home, do our laundry for free, get a good meal consisting of real food that people eat and then return to school. A few hours changes all that, is what I'm saying.