Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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How I Met Your Mother

Damon scoffs and says he gets what he wants too, but Isobel's not buying it, because she reads the recaps. The duo then gets rough with one another, but they're in the clinch, and their lips brush together as they speak. Somerhalder's movements reek of sex. Finally, they kiss and Izzy flash-forwards them over to the couch, where she mounts him. But she doesn't stay on top for long. Damon forces her to the floor, and while simultaneously straddling and throttling her, lays down the law. "Now that I have your attention, listen up. You do not come into my town -- threaten people that I care about." People? Who, besides Elena, rates? Could it be -- is the memory of his man-date still so fresh in his mind? Damon continues: "Going after Elena? Baaaaaad moooooove. You leave her alone or I will rip you to bits because I do believe in killing the messenger." He whispers in her ear. "You know why? Because it sends a message." Still holding her by the throat, he brings her head up and then slams it down on the floor. "Katherine wants something from me? You tell the little bitch to come get it herself." Whee!

Gilbert Gables: Bonnie's at the door. She feels so badly about walking away from Elena when she was in pain that she couldn't sleep last night. She apologizes and says, "that can't be us." Finally, Elena tells her she met her birth mother. Her teary-eyed failure to answer when Bonnie asks how it went, is all the response Bonnie needs. She takes Elena in her arms, and hugs her tight. Yay.

MFHS; Exterior: Matt's working on float assembly in front of the field-house. We get a quick shot of the "HOME OF THE TIMBERWOLVES" sign, as Tyler approaches. "Hey, man. So, Caroline tells me you've been on your own the past two weeks. Is everything okay?" Matt laughs with disbelief. "You're asking me about my mom -- seriously? Look man, why don't I just have her give you a call when she blows back into town." Tyler tries to explain that that's not what he meant, but he doesn't know what to say to bridge the gap between them that TOTALLY DUG FOR HIMSELF WHEN HE MADE OUT WITH PUDDING POP'S MOM. I mean Ty, I try to feel badly for you, but I'm so with Matt, here. When a guy knows his mother is a boozy 'ho, what he needs are buddies who will play blind to that fact, rather than exploit it. Buck up, it can't be too long before Hallmark introduces a Um Bro... About Your MILF line of greeting cards. In the meantime, Matt tells him, "Don't say anything. You're a dick. End of story." Tyler: "I know..." while he searches for the right words, Matt storms off. Tyler: "Whatever."

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Vampire Diaries

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