Isobel: [exhales] Ah, this is good shit. I think it's Sativa.
Recapper: I hate working with 'heads. God Isobel, get your act together, or I'll write around you.
Isobel: Chill. Okay, so like aren't you going to invite me in?
Elena: No no no no no no no. [Slams door].
Jenna: You could have at least let her pass me the joint. I haven't sparked one up since I became the world's most crap guardian. I mean... Sob. You knew Isobel was alive?
Elena: It turns out the definition of alive is trickier than you'd think.
Jenna: Even though you're crying too, and even though I know that Isobel is your bio-mom and so this must all be traumatic for you as well, it is time for me to stomp upstairs and have an enormous hissy fit. When I slump to the floor behind my locked door, take a good look at my boots, because they're hot.
Recapper: They are, and Jenna, I know you're hurt, but you kept what knowledge you had of Elena's adoption secret from her for a long time, and you are the putative adult here. Couldn't you hear her out before you have your hissy fit? Or at least during?
Jenna: Not so much, no, because it's not time for me to find out about vampires, yet. It's hissy fit time. Look at the script!
Elena: It's all right, Recapper. I can deal. This is all my fault. Everything is always my fault.
Recapper: If you get suicidal again, I'll kill you myself. That said, I know you can deal. You are the true adult in this relationship.
Elena: I wasn't suicidal so much as martyr-ific.
Recapper: Fine, let's move on. The scene wasn't nearly this long.
Morning, at Mossy Manse...
Stefan: [on phone] No way! Poor Jenna.
Damon: Pay attention to me! What's going on? Talk to me.
Stefan: Isobel showed up at Elena's last night and let Jenna know Alaric's less of a widower than he puts on.
Damon: Sucks to your ass-mar, Ric. We should probably let him know, huh?
Morning at Gilbert Gables...
Door: Knock knock.
Elena: Who's there?
Alaric: Your bio-mom's husband and your adoptive aunt's lover. Who's your Uncle Daddy, now?
Elena: Crap. I'm always my own grandpa. But Lucy, we got some 'splaining to do.
Jenna: You do, and if I could make myself stop for two seconds and listen, I'd probably hear some vital information, but there's this script, see? So even though I've been begging for information for months, I'm going to pretend that you two would just bullshit me.