Elena: No duh.
Isobel: So like... [tokes] I'll keep you safe, in a safe house that's as safe as houses and shit. It's not the place I'm currently staying. 'Cause that's where I'm meeting up with Katherine and plotting against you, so that would just be all awkward and whatnot. It's another, different house nobody will ever see.
Elena: Are you high?
Isobel: Bwah ha ha.
Elena: No. Seriously. What's all this stuff about meeting up with Katherine?
Isobel: Oh, we're like totally besties and so when I'm not in scenes with you, I'm in scenes with Katherine, explaining to her that I'm going to give you to Klaus to save her skanky ass.
Katherine: I love you, descendant.
Elena: I don't think I'm supposed to know any of this. Um, Recapper?
Recapper: No. You're not. Just ignore them, Elena. I mean Katherine isn't even in this scene. Now turn your back cover your ears for a second, okay?
Recapper: Great. Now that she's gone, Katherine, I just want to say, I'm really disappointed in you.
Katherine: How so?
Recapper: Why are you buying that Isobel would betray her own daughter for your sake?
Katherine: Did you not see our hug-filled reunion?
Recapper: Yes, but you are the least-trustworthy person on this show, and generally the less trustworthy someone is, the less trusting she is.
Katherine: Oh come on. Everyone loves me. I mean look at Damon.
Damon: No bitch, I'm pretty well over you.
Katherine: Well, there's Stefan.
Stefan: Have you been bogarting Isobel's weed?
Katherine: Okay, well I'm pretty popular. Besides, what kind of vampyress would turn on her best vampyress friend?
Recapper: Well, there's you, for starters.
Katherine: What? I never...
John: Um, you did screw over Pearl. You know. Twice.
Recapper: Right, so I'm just saying, I find it unbelievable that you trust Isobel so very much. It's why the episode didn't get an A.
Katherine: So, it's my fault. But look how sexy and evil I am.
Recapper: You are, but you're also supposed to be smart. And here? Not so much. But really, this is not your scene. You need to leave.
Katherine: Fine. I can tell where I'm not wanted.
Stefan and Damon: If only.
Recapper: Elena, you can listen again now.
Elena: La dee da.
Recapper: [pulls Elena's hands off her ears] It's okay now. Where were we?