Vampire Diaries

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Know Thine Enemy

Recapper: Liz, on this show, the vampires are less, "the thing that wears [the victim's] face." Caroline is still your daughter, but with super strength, sun sensitivity, speed, and a different diet.

Liz and Matt: Don't muddle our heads with facts. We're in cahoots. For once, we are in cahoots. Everyone else is always in cahoots. It's our turn to be in cahoots.

Recapper: Fine. Next.

Elena: Okay, so Isobel is pretending like she's taking me to some safe house, but instead she takes me to some cemetery and shows me her own grave. It seems her parents needed closure when her body was never found, so they purchased a grave and put a headstone on it. They bring flowers and visit regularly. My poor bio-grandparents.

Isobel: Don't mind me. I just have a little smoke in my eyes. Besides, I have to talk to Satan Klaus's manwitch. He's got Katherine and the moonstone. I've completed my task. The good news is, I get to let Elena go.

Elena: Which is weird, right?

Isobel: I guess. All I know is I'm relieved, which bothers me, because I hate my human emotions. We vampires have no emotions, right? That's why I'm going to tearfully rip off my protect-o necklace, throw it to the ground, and let myself burn up in front of my bio-daughter. My ashes will settle into the ground and my empty grave and when my parents come to visit, they will actually be honoring my remains, even if they don't know it.

Elena: Yeah, that's not emo at all.

Isobel: Bye Elena. I maybe love you, but there's no time for that. I've got to die in a fire.

Audience: Ahahahahahahaha.

Elena: Oh, I'm getting a contact high. I'd better stand back. Crap. I hope Isobel left the keys in the car. I'm pretty far from town.

Later, at Mossy Manse...

Stefan: So, that happened.

Elena: It sure did.

Damon: Look, accept the deed to our house.

Elena: I am not sleeping with you Damon, although I really do dig this place.

Damon: Oh you'll sleep with me someday.

Stefan: Standing right here!

Damon: But this isn't about that. Look, as soon as you sign the deed, this place is yours and then no vampire can enter without your invite.

Elena: [smirks]

Damon: But if you don't invite me in, I'm gonna be pissed.

Elena: Oh, like that's a new mood for you.

Stefan: It's a pretty good plan, Elena. Plus, more sleepovers.

Elena: I'm starting to come around to this idea.

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Vampire Diaries

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