Pearl's Pilfered Pad; Insane In The Basement: Stefan is shirtless and tied up. Yes, ruminate on that for a moment. I understand.

Pearl's Pilfered Pad; Insane In The Basement: Shirtless Stefan is tied up with ropes that have been soaked in Vervain. When Fred says, "That's gotta sting," I start having delusions of a shout-out, once again, but I get over it. He then drops some Vervain into Stefan's eyes. As our poor, well-muscled victim cries out in agony, Harper tries to stop Fast Freddy, but Freddy could not care less. "He killed Bethanne -- one of us, Harper, and don't you think for a second that he wouldn't kill you if he had the chance. Pearl says we're not here for revenge, right? I say that's exactly what we're here for, starting with this...." He slices into Stefan's magically delicious chest and then grabs his throat as he adds, "And then his brother, and anyone else who gets in our way." When Harper tries to intervene, Fast Freddy grabs him by the throat and screams, "You're gonna wanna let go of me." Harper says: "Miss Pearl will be home soon." Fast Freddy: "Miss Pearl... is no longer in charge." Nodding toward Harper, Fred tells his sub-minions, "Tie him up and then stake him down." He turns back to our poor, bound, bloody Stefan. As soon as I can breathe again, I'll continue.

MFHS Corridors: When Elena and Damon find Alaric, Damon -- ever the diplomat -- can't help but crack that Alaric looks alive. Thankfully, Elena is there to plead their case. They need the human Mr. Saltzman's help to rescue Stefan, since Damon has been denied an invite Miss Gibbons' home. Elena says, "I would go, but..." Damon interrupts her. "But your life is valuable." Oh, Damon. Elena explains that they know about Alaric's magical ring which brought him back to life after Damon killed him -- the point being that he's hard to kill. With all apologies to Elena, Alaric refuses to help at first, but when Damon tells him that the woman in charge of the new fang gang can help find him find his wife, Alaric agrees, even though he knows Damon is lying.

Grill: Germ has an answer. Anna should turn him because he feels okay, but there's something missing -- like a hole. "Some people they fit... in life, or whatever. I don't." Anna is not large with the pity turn, and explains the motivations that can induce a vampire to turn a human in this MYTHOLOGY MOMENT: A vamp needs someone to do dirty work; revenge; boredom; loving someone so much that you'd do anything to spend all eternity with them. She then tells him that he doesn't fit any of those categories... yet. Just then, Pearl walks in, causing Anna to change her tune. "So yeah, just make sure your thesis is clear and she'll love it. See you later." She sends Jeremy a text that reads: "Mom." To Pearl, Anna lies that she was talking to "a friend" from the library.