Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
I Done Told You Stefan Was The Scariest Vampire In Town


Mossy Manse; Next Day; Rain: As Damon boards up the window Fast Freddy busted through, he suggests invading Pearl's Pilfered Pad and seeking revenge. Stefan points out the numerous streaks of idiocy running through that plan, so we know it's close to whatever their final strategy will be. The talk turns to Pearl, and how she bullied Damon into cooperating with her (by poking out his eyes with her frigging thumbs, which would SO not be the unspoken context were it my eyes). When Damon mentions that Pearl is going to help him get Katherine back, Elena can't help but gripe that of course Damon gets what he wants, as usual, consequences be damned. What is she -- his little sister? When Damon tells her she needn't be snarky about it, I experience mixed emotions. I mean, maybe it's a "Spare the Snark; Spoil the Networks" shout-out to me, but so very probably not, because Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson are all about Carina MacKenzie (and who can blame them). But whatever. Sniff. Elena was being snide and sarcastic, which is as good of a definition of snark as anything, but... regardless of the fact that TWoP butters my bread, I can't help but think that the word snark (but not the vibe, never, ever the vibe) may well have run its course.

Anyhow, Elena tells Damon she's earned her snark -- seeing as how the whole damned gaggle of vampires formerly sealed in ye olde tomb have found their way out. And off-topic for a moment, but I want a good collective noun for vampires. We already have a murder of crows, so I am proposing a suck of vampires. What say you? Damon, feeling non-sequiturial if not digressional, asks when the hell Elena is going to get over the fact that he sired her birth mother. Arms crossed and eyebrows raised, Elena sneers. "I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities." Except for those blue eyes, and muscles for which I know no decent name, but I digress. Stefan decides the snark-off between his brother and their girlfriend is less than productive and assures them they'll figure out a way to deal with the new fang gang in town. Damon, fresh out of "snark" -- leaves the room for... um... a refill.

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Vampire Diaries




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