Vampire Diaries

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I Done Told You Stefan Was The Scariest Vampire In Town

Meanwhile, at the bar, Matt tells Caroline he yelled at his mom and confesses he feels like the parent of a screwed-up kid, but he worries that if he gets too stompy, she'll take off, just like Vicki. And then, Matt breaks my heart. "I wish that she would just try a little, you know? If she would just try to try, that would be okay." Caroline: "Maybe she'll surprise you." You keep dreaming, kids. Anyhow, because another dark and stormy night is falling, Caroline decides to leave before the roads get worse. She has to go to attend her dad's boyfriend's daughter's birthday party. Matt is appropriately concerned. "Buckle up. Don't speed. Stay off your cell phone and call me when you get there." Caroline laughs. "Anything else?" Pudding Pop says, "Yes," and then it's all kissy kissy smoochie-face. Mmmm. Pudding Pop.

Mossy Manse: Damon is resetting the grandfather clock when Stefan enters the room, ready to go out for a jaunt. Damon asks, "Hunting party?" It is -- of sorts. After getting stabbed by Fast Freddy the night before, Stefan needs to feed regain his strength. The soul of generosity, Damon offers: "I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge." Note to self: Never, even in a fit of pique, tell Damon: "Eat me." Stefan declines with a mere grin, zips up his jacket and says they'll talk when he gets back. Damon: "Give my regards to the squirrels." Oh man, it's like vittles on The Beverly Hillbillies.

Woods: Stefan is off in search of non-human prey when Fast Freddy and his minions surround him. They stake him in the gut and... COMMERCIAL.

Gilbert Gables: Elena gets call from Damon on her cell and hits ignore, but there's a knock at the door, and doors have not yet adopted the glorious features already available on our magical talking machines. So of course, it's Damon. Stefan went out in the woods, but isn't answering his phone. Elena tries to call him, because while Stefan would readily ignore his brother, he'd never ignore his present-day sweetie who is the spitting image of his sweetie of yore. When he still doesn't answer, Elena can't figure out what is up. Damon looks her straight in the eye. "You're not going to like what I'm thinking."

Pearl's Pilfered Pad: Damon bangs on the door. "Pearl, open this door or I swear to God I'll bust it in and rip your head off." Sadly, Pearl is not home, so Fast Freddy answers, and taunts Damon -- which he so desperately needs -- but not right now while Stefan is suffering, thank you very much. Fred summons Ms. Gibbons to the door and compels her never to open the door to Damon -- i.e. "this bad man." Gibbons complies, and goes on her bloody-necked yet merry way. And somewhere in there, Fred calls out for Billy, who (along with another sub-minion) drags out poor Stefan. Fast Freddy blathers on about the excruciating pain vampires experience at the beginning of a forced starvation. To drive the message home, one of his sub-minions stakes Stefan in the side. Fred then whinges about how Katherine's infatuation with the Brothers Salvatore was at the root of all the vampires' troubles. Once this lovely demonstration has sunken into Damon's brain, Fred adds, "Well, you have a nice day," and shuts the door.

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Vampire Diaries

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