Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hold Me Closer Damon Dancer

Mossy Manse: In case you forgot you were watching a CW show, Vicki, still wearing her tank and cheeky undies, dances in the sunshine streaming in from the window. It's a twirly dance, but an angry one, just the same. Meanwhile, Damon swills booze straight from the bottle. His shirt is open. Yeah, that seems awkward standing there all by itself, but I try to report the important facts. Vicki proclaims that she's over Tyler. She always knew she was just a piece of ass to him, but she was hoping that if he got to know her better, he'd see something more. She twirls and fondles her hair. "Now Jeremy, on the other hand?" She drops to the Oriental rug. "That's all he's ever seen in me in something more And I like that." She laughs and rolls over. Damon picks up on the fact that Germ is Elena's brother. She rises and gallops over to Damon as she explains that Elena and Matthew Pudding Pop Donovan, used to date. She also brags/explains that Jeremy has been crushing on her (Vicki) forever. She stops her manic dance for a minute. "Hey, why don't you have a girlfriend? You're like... totally cool and so HOT!" Damon says, "I know." He has no desire to be in love again. It's painful, pointless and overrated. When Vicki starts to argue, Damon silences her and says, "Let's daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance." And oh my. I am at a loss to describe this. Vicki dances alone. Damon swoops up to the next floor and dances, with his shirt open. There's a lot of pelvic action here, and the abs and pecs are working overtime. How can I be panting, cringing, and laughing from the same few seconds? You be the judge. Soon, they're together again. I'm starting a new paragraph to let you catch your breath.

Vicki and Damon dance their way upstairs to Stefan's room, and proceed to trash it. Damon, who is still without his ring, remember, flirts with the sunlight streaming through the window. Sizzler, indeed. Vicki is jumping up and down on the bed and is otherwise oblivious to him as he picks up Katherine's picture and pines over it. Next, they're slow dancing as Vicki tells Stefan the sad story of her life. She doesn't remember her dad and hears he's not worth the disk space. Her mother spends most of her time in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend Pete -- a trucker. Damon holds her tight as he says, "Your life is so pathetic." Matt is the Golden Boy on track to receive a football scholarship and eventually marry Elena and have "a lawnmower and babies." But Vicki? "When I think of my future, I just come up blank." Damon leans back and looks at her. "You are so damaged." Tearful, Vicki says, "Yep." He brushes back her hair. "You don't have one hint of self-esteem." Vicki shakes her head. "Nope. None." They touch foreheads and Damon says he think he knows what can help her. When Vicki asks, "What's that?" he caresses her cheeks. "Death." He snaps her neck before she can react, and tosses her to the floor. Straightening his still open shirt, he sighs and steps over her corpse. Commercial!

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Vampire Diaries

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