Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
No Secrets, Only Dirty Shame

Front Porch: Elena tries to call Stefan but can only reach his voice mail. Caroline brings out her bowl of chips and joins Elena, as she explains she's following Stefan's craving-sublimation advice by eating constantly. Elena tries to sympathize with Caroline's struggle -- noting that Stefan hates his bloodlust. Caroline agrees, but not exactly in the most helpful and friendly way. "Well yeah, and he hates that you're a constant temptation. [...] The desire to rip out your jugular every time he's with you? Trust me, it's there. That's why I had to break up with Matt." Mercifully, Alaric breaks in and tells them it's time to eat the food that no one has gone out to cook, or will ever see, because this is the world's lamest BBQ. And herein lies my next complaint. I guess I haven't had enough wine yet, but the way both Damon and Brick House mentioned it earlier, I was expecting a big, backyard party, with actual grilling, outdoor dining, and maybe more than 6 people. It's not that I need a big party. It's that... I don't know, doesn't it strike anyone else as weak? If this was all that was in the budget, why couldn't everyone just be going over Jenna's for drinks, lunch, Sunday dinner, or just to hang? Promising a BBQ, but only seeing the adults drinking shots in the kitchen while the kids eat munchies on the front porch? It feels like nobody's paying attention to detail. Maybe they spent their detail-minding budget on the fricking dream chyron.

Mossy Manse Dungeon: Stefan threats Katherine with desiccation and entombment. Katherine ignores this. She wants Stefan to do some talking now and asks if the appeal of being with Elena is that he can pretend he's human. Stefan says that with Elena, he just gets to be himself. When Katherine asks if Elena knows he loves her (Katherine), he denies he does. Katherine disregards this and takes a stroll down memory lane in an attempt to prove him wrong.

Post-Founders' Ball; 1864: Stefan escorts Katherine to her room in the original Salvatore mansion and is moved to confess his feelings. "I've never met a woman quite like you. I look at you and I see an angel." Oh, the implications of that last bit make me sad for Elena. "I touch your skin and my entire body ignites." Okay I'm sorry, but would a nice, proper young gentleman like Stefan have been that forward in the South in the 1860s? More wine, you say? Fine. BRB. Now where were we? Oh yes, Stefan's confession of lurrrrrrrrrve. "I kiss you and I know that I'm falling in love." They kiss, but it's chaste, mostly because Katherine pulls away. Stefan offers his assurances. "I am in love with you." Katherine seems undone. "There's just so much you don't know about me, Stefan." Ignorant and innocent, he says there's more to learn and love. When she says she must say good night, he's worried that he has upset her, but she claims she is just surprised.

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Vampire Diaries

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