Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
No Secrets, Only Dirty Shame

When Katherine closes herself in her room, Damon is waiting for her. He grabs her, pushes her against the door and kisses her, but she shoves him off and orders him to leave. Okay, I am not buying this flashback. It conflicts with Damon's story, and I have no reason to accept Katherine as a reliable narrator. I guess that doesn't let me out of recapping it, though. There's got to be a reason for it. When Damon asks if his little brother's confession overwhelmed her, Katherine chides him: "You shouldn't eavesdrop." (Remember that at the episode's end, okay?) He then continues to press her for her affections, so she compels him to leave. Once she's alone, she places her fingers to her lips, but whose kiss is she remembering? Before we jump to the present, I just want to add this: I've seen some people take issue with Katherine compelling Damon here, because he has always claimed she didn't compel him. Until and unless we learn more, I think that's hair-splitting. Damon's point was that Katherine didn't need to compel him to love her. If this Damon/Katherine part of flashback is actually true (I'm half-convinced Katherine is mostly blowing smoke up Stefan's arse), I have no problem accepting that over the course of 145-ish years he's forgotten or ignored minor compulsions like "leave now," or "get me a Mint Julep." Okay? Now, it's time to jump to the...

Present; Mossy Manse: Katherine, who seems more stoned than either weak or in pain, says, "Go ahead, Stefan. Torture me. Keep me captive. Drain me of my blood until my body turns to dust. It will never change the truth. I never compelled your love. It was real and so was mine." They gaze in each others eyes as we cut away to a commercial.

Gilbert Gables: The BBQ attendees are playing Pictionary. It's Damon's turn at the easel, and everyone else is trying to guess what he's drawn. Words don't do it justice and I couldn't find a screen cap, so here is my very badly finger-drawn visual aid. I spent a full minute on it, so I do hope you click the link. The point of the scene is that Damon is trying to bust Brick House's brick bollocks. The highlight of the scene is Caroline guessing thusly: "Puppy... puppy... puppy with tutu!" The answer, which Mason finally gives is Dances With Wolves. Aroo.

Out in the kitchen, Elena removes Damon's peach cobbler from the bakery box, but that's no cobbler. It's a pie. There is a difference, people. Ugh. See, this is what I mean about details. I still blame the chyron. Damon tries to make nice with Elena, but she's cool to him, even as she berates him for plying Jenna with alcohol (Damon: "Well, I want her to like me...") and asks him how Operation Lockwood is going. Not bad, Elena, but it could use more nudity and mud. Damon invades Elena's personal bubble and whispers his answer in her ear: "He's my new BFF." Jenna enters and Damon thanks her for inviting him. When Jenna asks if she had a choice, Damon says, "Yes, and I know what you must think of me..." Jenna cuts him off. "No, you don't. You've never dated you. I have dated many yous." Love it. I wish she had a bigger role. Damon shrugs his admission. "Well, I'm a work in progress," but he's soon distracted by something shiny. Literally. Jenna has her parents' sterling out on the counter. For a fucking barbecue. Details, people. Details. Supper would have been a better excuse for the fine flatware. Ugh. Right. The wine's in the kitchen. Just give me a moment. Glug. Elena eyes him knowingly as Damon lifts a sharp carving knife out of the case.

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Vampire Diaries

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