Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
No Secrets, Only Dirty Shame

Road; Night: Waiting for a tow truck, Caroline continues to delay Elena, who wants to walk to Mossy Manse from there. Caroline asks why she's hurrying to get to a relationship that will never work. "You're human and he's a vampire. You're going to be 70 and in diapers, and he's going to be smoking hot. You will never have his children, Elena, and you are too maternal not to have children." Elena's had enough of Caroline's reindeer games, so she decides to walk the rest of the way to Stefan's. Caroline hurts her as she grabs her arm and pulls her back. When the tow truck shows up. Elena leaves in a huff, even though Caroline implies she doesn't trust herself around a random human. People who aren't me are mad at Elena for this.

Grill; Exterior: Damon catches up with Mason, but before they can get too deep in conversation, Damon stabs Brick House in the six pack. It's useless. Once Mason pulls out the knife, he rises with ease and says, "I think it was werewolves who started this whole silver myth, probably for moments like this." He looks down at his bloody shirt, all disappointed. "I was really looking forward to last call." (Poor punkin. I have beer, wine and maybe some old Kahlua.) Then Brick House closes in on Damon. "Now you've made an enemy." Oh, Damon, when will you free yourself from the bonds of impulse?

Mossy Manse Dungeon: The short of it is, Katherine wants what she wants and doesn't care what she has to do to get it. "My list of victims is a long one, and I have no problem adding one more to that list." If she has to, she will snap Elena's neck like a twig. At that, Stefan almost stakes her, but composes himself. Damn it. Katherine picks up on his hesitancy and tells him, "I don't want you seeing Elena anymore. If you don't remove her from your life, I will kill everyone she loves while she watches, and then I will kill her while you watch." He goes to stake her again, but instead chokes and threatens her. Wussy. Katherine breaks free of her shackles and SHOCKER the wooden chair. She's been sipping vervain every day for the last 145 years -- just in case. "It doesn't hurt me, Stefan." He again asks why she's there. Katherine: "I told you. I missed you, Stefan. I just wanted to spend some time with you." Upstairs, Elena enters and calls his name. Katherine sticks the stake into Stefan's thigh and rushes upstairs to meet her doppelganger. The split-screen technique they used in this first scene is laughably bad. Did they have a four-year-old standing in for Elena when the camera was on Katherine? Her sightline is like Mary Ingalls' -- after the blindness. Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries

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