Founders Hall: Carol "Mulva" Lockwood interviews the Miss Mystic Falls candidates. The dialogue jumps back and forth between the girls, so I'll give you the lowdown on the candidates of note. Caroline: involved in every school and community activity there. Elena: used to be involved, but has done squat since her parents died. Amber Bradley (Spencer Locke; Kylie on Cougar Town): token townie (i.e. not from a "founding family"). There's a brunette (possibly a Fell cousin) who already won once, but doesn't think that should disqualify her. Whatever. It's blonde Autumn Dial's Tina Fell who has the line of the hour. "Just because my DUI made my community service mandatory, doesn't mean I was any less committed."
Mossy Manse: Uncle Snark shows up because Damon hasn't returned any of his calls. Is it just me, or does Anders look like he's wearing an old lady's wig, placed a little too far back. Can he have his Sark-era hair back, please? Anyhow, he wants to know when they're going to start catching vampires. Damon doubts Snark's commitment to the task, since he's standing there talking to a vampire. He then does a little digging. "What did Isobel say about that? I mean, considering she is one." Snark (note his use of the present tense): "Isobel and I share a mutual interest..." A daughter? "The original Johnathan (sic) Gilbert had an invention that was stolen by a vampire..." blah blah blah. Original Johnathan thought it was lost when the vampires were burned in Fells Church, but of course, they weren't burnt, so the invention wasn't so lost. Snark wants it back, and says Damon's going to help him find it, if he wants to keep his secret safe. Damon claims he has no idea what John's talking about. Snark's point is that Damon knows what the ye olde tyme vampires look like, but when he specifically mentions Pearl, Damon shuts him down and kicks him out. Was having his baby blues gouged out the only reminder our bad boy needed, to keep him from messing up Pearl's sandbox? Nah. Damon only suffered Snark's presence in the first place, because he thought he and Isobel might lead him to Katherine. Ugh. He figures if Snark and Isobel were in contact with Katherine, they'd know who Pearl is, because Katherine and Pearl are best friends. When Snark threatens to tell the Council what Damon really is, Damon tells him to bring it on. "I'll kill every last one of them, then I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off, and I'll kill you, too. Do you understand that?" I already hate Katherine. Do you understand that? DUN!