Jeremy stakes and stakes and stakes My Little Prisoner until he's finally dead. I wish these vampires would poof the way the Sunnydale vampires did. Stefan finally has to call off Jeremy. I think for a moment that Jeremy might charge at Stefan next, but instead, he takes us to the Olive Garden...commercial.

Pageant. Caroline is bussing tables and the berating the waiters. Next she barks at the orchestra to be a little more upbeat. And I'm supposed to recognize what they're playing. Everyone else on the entire internet does, but I don't, and I forgot to note what they're playing. Thankfully, Klaus saves me from myself and by calling Caroline's attention to the fact that Tyler has just arrived and he's walking hand-in-hand with Hayley. Joseph Morgan somehow manages to convince me that Klaus is simultaneously thrilled by this development, and broken hearted on Caroline's behalf. Caroline is probably acting, but not only acting disturbed to see her boy holding another girl's hand. She turns to Klaus and says, "Let's just get today over with." Amen, sister. Amen.

Now, am I wrong? Did Tyler not tell her to wear a dress? He did, right, so why is Hayley wearing a bandage? I didn't even know they came in that color. Anyhow, Hayley walks up to the table, where the pageant tiara waits on pillow. Picking it up and putting it on her head, Hayley says, "I can't believe that I won. I just want to thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I'm a raging bitch." Heh. Tyler takes her actions more seriously. "You don't want to do that. Those girls will cut you. They have nails." Double heh. Hayley replies: "I have claws." Meh. Still, she puts down the tiara, just before Caroline takes center stage.