Sidebar: I'm kind of bitter about Caroline this week, but let me thank the writers for that. No, I am being serious. Lately, all I've had to say about Caroline is, "Caroline is awesome," or "Caroline continues to be awesome." Thank you for giving her feet of clay. Thank you for allowing her to jump to conclusions and rush to judgment, even if her motives are pure. I hate perfect characters. Caroline needed a little taint. She sorely needed it.
Declining the drink is short-lived proposition anyhow, since as they continue to talk, Caroline says, "If we're going to be nice to each other, then I will need that champagne." So, she doesn't have to care about the adult eyes, because she and Klaus are being nice to each other? Come on, dialogue. Be better than this. As if to prove my point, Klaus asks, "Is that our thing?" Just out of the blue like that. Is what their thing? Is being nice their thing? Is drinking champagne while being nice their thing? Are special snowflakes their thing? What? What? What? Since Caroline insists they don't have a thing, I guess it doesn't matter. When Klaus heads off in search of bubbly, Caroline texts Stefan and says, "He's here. Go." And that's actually their thing: Caroline flirts with Klaus whenever the Fellowship of the Falls is trying to use or thwart him, even though he's an unstable, unkillable monster who is allegedly one step ahead of everyone. We cut to...
Klaus Haus. Stefan disassembles Klaus's safe, but the sword is no longer in it. We cut to Damon who is on the phone with Stefan. He says since Klaus isn't walking around with it, Stefan just needs to check the rest of the house. I know Tyler's plan is cockamamie, but since everyone on this show is pretending it could work, isn't it not a bad thing? I mean, disable Klaus and you can look through his things at your leisure.
Stefan says he already has looked elsewhere. I'm not even enjoying Damon's snark enough to share it. Klaus finds a stash of letters Klaus has kept -- at least some of them look like love letters, but I didn't get a good enough look at them to tell you what they say. I'm a font of nothing, aren't I? Anyhow, since Stefan can't find the sword, Damon suggests that Stefan kill Tyler before he goes to Klaus, or just warn Klaus about the hybrids, and then Klaus can kill Tyler. Stefan says no one is killing Tyler. He changes the subject and asks where Elena is. Damon says, "I think she's running around, trying to figure out how to deprogram Jeremy." Stefan asks, "How'd she take it last night -- you telling her to stay away from you?" Damon says, "Not well." Stefan: "You okay?" Damon: "Peachy. Gotta go. Bonnie's enlisted Dr. Evil in her plan and I have to thwart him." Dr. Evil, huh? Is that a bit too 1997, or is its datedness irrelevant, because it's a classic? I like Professor Shadypants better, at least in part because Shady is Damon's favorite adjective, this season (assuming we're not even listening to anyone on this show when they say epic, anymore).